How do I get into Hogwarts?

[fli]

Each year I try to get a letter from Hogwarts, but I'm very unsuccessful. I really think I can be an excellent wizard because I have natural abilities.

I bought an owl. I have a long scarf. I got some jellybeans... but no letter from Hogwarts. Damn that bastard, Dumblewhore. He's always been a friggin' prick with me!

And that stupid bitch, Professor McGonagall. I found out where she lived, and she called the muggel police on me.

I only went in her house to ask her why she's such a bitch to me!

I belong to the wizarding world...
I belong to Hogwarts.

Anyways, I need to practice magic while I wait for my wand (19 inches. Oak. Phoenix tail).

[wesdood]

are you english?

[X-Naut]

Um, I'm gonna say, that you are one sad little boy, addicted to HP.

[MadCow]

Use a gun. Those bastard wizards can't do crap against that! Do you honestly believe Snape killed Dumbledore? >:)

[AshfordPride]

Have you survived an attack from the great evil wizard guy Whatshisname? If not your chances are slim.

[GeneralMBison]

It's impossible to join now becuase Dumbledore died!! Face the truth!

[Chris-Aldin]

Ok are you serious lol?! If you are get a fucking life....if not youre a damn funny guy. You have to be a wizard to get into hogwarts,i dont think theres anything else you gotta do. You must suck!

[squadus2]

OMG A MUGGLE NOOB!

[BlueZombieClock]

I got expelled from hogwarts 3 or so years ago...i kept putting my wand in my pants, to show my friends, and when i take it out *Whoop* the wand is all white and sticky, like magic!

[vector21]

no see, ya hafta do that one special dance, and you have to do it wearing your black wizarding cloaks, at midnight. and you have to do it in the middle of the busiest street you can find. that'll get you into hogwarts fo' sho'.

[lonedrow]

At 7/16/05 10:07 PM, Stereoflash wrote: I got expelled from hogwarts 3 or so years ago...i kept putting my wand in my pants, to show my friends, and when i take it out *Whoop* the wand is all white and sticky, like magic!

Roflmao! Best. Post. Ever.

[squadus2]

At 7/16/05 10:07 PM, Stereoflash wrote: I got expelled from hogwarts 3 or so years ago...i kept putting my wand in my pants, to show my friends, and when i take it out *Whoop* the wand is all white and sticky, like magic!

YAY! Tell me more! Tell me more!

[VoodooPriestess]

Why is Newgrounds such a loser magnet?...Please someone tell me =D

[BlueZombieClock]

At 7/16/05 10:12 PM, squadus2 wrote:

At 7/16/05 10:07 PM, Stereoflash wrote: I got expelled from hogwarts 3 or so years ago...i kept putting my wand in my pants, to show my friends, and when i take it out *Whoop* the wand is all white and sticky, like magic!

YAY! Tell me more! Tell me more!

Im srry, itsh kindah hard to talksh when you try the shame trick, but in your mouth

[Gendo]

At 7/16/05 10:02 PM, I-WAS-DAMADCOW wrote: Use a gun. Those bastard wizards can't do crap against that! Do you honestly believe Snape killed Dumbledore? >:)

I presume you spoiled a key part of the story, good.....
CRY POTTER FANS, CRY!!!!!
MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FUNKbrs]

Harry Pothead rules.

One of these days he's going to exorcise voldemort into a pot plant and smoke his ass, just you wait.

[BlueZombieClock]

At 7/16/05 10:23 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: Harry Pothead rules.

One of these days he's going to exorcise voldemort into a pot plant and smoke his ass, just you wait.

Sorry dude, beat him to it

[DeviousHaik]

This is what happens when you get sucked into Harry Potter and magic. Damn you J.K. Rowling!

[GoatFace]

At 7/16/05 10:02 PM, InsOmniaC777 wrote: Um, I'm gonna say, that you are one sad little boy, addicted to HP.

HP > j00
anyway, you must be uber 1337 like meh..... 8)

[Darklilangel23]

your a muggle you cant get into hogwarts unless you become micheal jacksons sex slave or RK Rowlings little bitch

[Twone]

At 7/16/05 10:01 PM, spamishfli wrote: Each year I try to get a letter from Hogwarts, but I'm very unsuccessful. I really think I can be an excellent wizard because I have natural abilities.

I bought an owl. I have a long scarf. I got some jellybeans... but no letter from Hogwarts. Damn that bastard, Dumblewhore. He's always been a friggin' prick with me!

He died, so Gandalf's going to take his place and try to consider you for a wizard.

[Masteronin]

You don't understand.
You've been doing it all wrong.
Originaly, Rowling wrote how Harry sacrificed a virgin llama in a candle-lit alter to Dumbledore, and then a magical Hippie-Elf visited him in his dreams. This hippie elf was also half-rotting, had maggots crawling all over him, and was gushing blod constantly.
Because of the graphic nature of the real initiation into Hogwarts, Rowling had to cut it out to continue the stories.
That is how you get into Hogwarts. I'm already the Ravenclaw prefect and I know a Supernova spell that pwns everybody who pisses moe off.
Also, Snape didn't kill Dumbledore, I did.
Well, it was kind of an accident because I was aiming my supernova spell at that spoiled prick Malfoy, but the spell is so huge that it killed Malfoy and Dumbledore. And half the school...
But for some reason I'm the headmaster now.

[Faille]

jsut wait for friends to come in a flying car... they will take u!

[LostMyPants]

U idiot! Just go to the train station run through the pillar thingy..sneak inta hogwarts and VOILA!

[XXCELLENTT]

At 7/16/05 10:16 PM, voodoopriestess wrote: Why is Newgrounds such a loser magnet?...Please someone tell me =D

=== ===
uummm ... should you really be asking that question??
you are here in the NG - BBS forums
if you are saying it's a loser magnet ... does that not make you one of the losers???
======
as far as wizardry goes ... I've done real magic & I've never been invited to hogwarts
even if it was real ... I doubt I'd accept the invitation ...
they have NO computers @ hogwarts :O!!!