Megakill v NinthMaeglin v Pathock3
Topic: Pandora's Box
1 day to write
2 days thereafter to vote
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
--:-- / --:--
To Misplace Trust
From the ashes of thy kin, I craft.
Behold; thy past, present and future lie within.
I bare unto thee an instrument of fate, Pandora.
Heed my warning.
Thou cannot comprehend the terrifying majesty,
the divine horrors of that which I present thee.
Pandora, I charge thee with a matter of biblical proportions.
Stay thy hand, and hold thy tongue, guardian of all sin.
Thy mortal lacerations shall be thy undoing.
Eve fell to the serpents' whim; shall thou fall in suit?
I pray thy will is stronger, for the sake of all life.
Selfish Pandora, deny thy natural instincts.
Should thou fail to stay true to these words,
Thou shall be damned to a broken existence.
From thy eyes shall rain not but the plagues of malice and treachery,
who's darkness shall plunge to the depths of these lands,
and lay waste to the corrupt and righteous alike!
No man, woman or child shall be spared
and upon thy soul shall the cries of the innocent rest, Pandora.
Let it be known, that should this relic be defiled by thy unclean hands,
Thou shall not know mercy.
Thou shall not be welcomed to my bosom.
Thou shall be the tool of damnation.
I wont have time to write tomorrow so I thought I'd knock this one out now. I saw this as a chance to play with language, and I'm aware some of the use of "thy" "thou" and "thee" might not be correct, or the word order might be wrong, but hey, thats what experimenting is for lol. Anyway, I hope you guys like it.
The Most Wonderful Present
Pandora, a girl no more than seven or eight,
Came sprinting down stairs that cold Christmas Day.
She spotted it. Covered with ribbons and bows- a jar!
In a flash it was open. She cried, "MY VERY OWN AVATAR?!"
But Santa didn't give this special prize,
And Pandora now recognized the body's eyes.
The undead form of Granny Eileen rose with grace.
She swallowed Pandora, then retreated to her vase.
All hell and sickness broke loose that gruesome night,
And none ever forgot the gods' terrible might.
Megakill this is one of your best! You have my vote. You really stepped it up here.
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
@ Pathock: Lol I see what you did there
But my vote also goes to Megakill. Awesome word choices and such.
Pathock's quick wit, sharp words, and nearly flawless rhythm make this a hard choice. Megakill has some excellent imagery and an interesting use of language, as well as a nice play on the beginning of a story we all know the end of.
My vote goes to Pathock3, for a completely novel take on the story, filled with wit and squidge and just enough malice to make for a wonderful read. Brilliant work, the both of you.
Mega: 2
Path: 1
Ninth: Forfeit
Tis better to sit in silence and be presumed a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
My vote goes to Megakill. His depiction of the topic I found very interesting. Pathock did a good job as well.
Mega: 3
Path: 1
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mega:4
path:1
sorry path but megakill's poem just blew me away, but keep on with the good stuff
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
You can't count that as a forfeit lol, you can't base someones skill upon a random choosen topic. I do think Megakill did a job of it, however you can't forfeit someone you put on the stand.
At 4/14/10 11:26 PM, megakill wrote: To Misplace Trust
From the ashes of thy kin, I craft.
Behold; thy past, present and future lie within.
I bare unto thee an instrument of fate, Pandora.
Heed my warning.
Thou cannot comprehend the terrifying majesty,
the divine horrors of that which I present thee.
Pandora, I charge thee with a matter of biblical proportions.
Stay thy hand, and hold thy tongue, guardian of all sin.
Mine sucked hate to double post but just a coupler pointers
1. Over thou'd over thy'd over thee'd
2. Over written under thoughten
3. What makes poetry, poetry. Answer that question than do that.
I wont have time to write tomorrow so I thought I'd knock this one out now. I saw this as a chance to play with language, and I'm aware some of the use of "thy" "thou" and "thee" might not be correct, or the word order might be wrong, but hey, thats what experimenting is for lol. Anyway, I hope you guys like it.
At 4/19/10 10:56 PM, Skilla wrote: You can't count that as a forfeit lol, you can't base someones skill upon a random choosen topic. I do think Megakill did a job of it, however you can't forfeit someone you put on the stand.
Wrong word. But anyways read the rules in the actual topic. As the person that runs these contests I abide by those rules that I wrote. If a person doesn't like those rules they can forfeit the right to compete.
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
At 4/19/10 10:58 PM, Skilla wrote:At 4/14/10 11:26 PM, megakill wrote: To Misplace TrustMine sucked hate to double post but just a coupler pointers
From the ashes of thy kin, I craft.
Behold; thy past, present and future lie within.
I bare unto thee an instrument of fate, Pandora.
Heed my warning.
Thou cannot comprehend the terrifying majesty,
the divine horrors of that which I present thee.
Pandora, I charge thee with a matter of biblical proportions.
Stay thy hand, and hold thy tongue, guardian of all sin.
1. Over thou'd over thy'd over thee'd
2. Over written under thoughten
3. What makes poetry, poetry. Answer that question than do that.
I wont have time to write tomorrow so I thought I'd knock this one out now. I saw this as a chance to play with language, and I'm aware some of the use of "thy" "thou" and "thee" might not be correct, or the word order might be wrong, but hey, thats what experimenting is for lol. Anyway, I hope you guys like it.
Well, I did mention I was experimenting with language at the time, so the whole" over thou'd" thing, might be a fair point, but, as I stated ever so clearly, I was treading in unfamiliar territory.
As for being over written and under, umm, thoughten? Is that actually a word? Anyway, I disagree with this because when the topic is about a box that could end life as we very well know it, I kind of figure that you can't really talk its importance up enough. Furthermore, considering the way I approached the topic and carefully used my vocabulary, I don't really thing its fair to say I didn't think it through enough.
Finally, what makes poetry, poetry? Well I'm eager for you to tell me seeing as I'm fairly confident no two poets on the planet or who have ever lived for that matter will ever have the same feelings about what makes poetry, poetry, and I don't think you, me, or even Poe would be qualified to determine it. Poetry is very personal to the author and gives an insightful perspective on how they see the world. I personally believe it freely differs from person to person.
It's not that I don't appreciate you taking the time to read my work and offer some feedback, but some of what you said seems pretty unfair and not exactly constructive, but thanks anyway.
