I'm interested in joining the Writers guild. Anything I must do or do I wait for approval?

At 2/5/05 02:09 PM, MoseRoberts wrote: I'm interested in joining the Writers guild. Anything I must do or do I wait for approval?

If you happen to have something that you have written handy feel free to post it so we can review it for you.

Welcome to the guild compadre. Im sure you'll fidn yourself at home...in fatc this place is happier than disney land.

At 2/5/05 09:16 AM, Eldarion wrote:

At 2/5/05 08:32 AM, Slightly_Crazy_Dude wrote: shit, i remember when you were a n00bling, youve grown strong young padawan :D

Haha, when will I get my lightsaber though? ;_;

All padawans must craft their own lightsabre, to pass the test and achieve the rank of jedi knight.

Thanks to everyone who said how great my story is. It really cheered me up after a stress filled day at work.

And now, with a little less ado, I present Part 4:

“These are my weapons, if that’s what you’re on about.” Marchai looked upon the axe with an impressed look on his face, while he looked less than pleased with the hammer.

“What do you intend to do with the hammer? It is not the best second weapon available, plus you already have two hands full of guard’s axe when you are in combat.”

“I keep the hammer in reserve and for those jobs that a guard’s axe would not be best suited.”

“Jobs? Such as what, Lomlin?”

“Such as putting up the tent, for example. I shall need something sturdy to knock the pegs into the ground, will I not?”

“Aye, you have a point there. Tell me,” The merchant beckoned Lomlin a little closer to him. He lowered his voice accordingly. “Have you ever thought about dispatching your foes from range?”

“And how would you mean me to dispatch my foes from range, Mr Expert?” Marchai walked around the back of the counter and pulled a rather sturdy looking box up onto the top. He took a key from somewhere within his beard and unlocked the rather large lock on the front edge. He pushed open the box, reverently and proffered the contents to Lomlin.

Gazing in wonderment at one of the most exquisite pieces of Dwarven craftsmanship, Lomlin remained speechless. Every part of the crossbow gleamed. The wood was freshly waxed, the metal finely polished. It had a look of sleek potential about it. The potential to bring death, from this crossbow was amazing.

“There is no way, that I could possibly afford such a masterful weapon. I’d be so afraid to use it.” Lomlin’s voice was barely a whisper. Marchai shut the lid, and the magic of the moment died away.

“Come with me, Lomlin. I think I can find something more suited to you.” Marchai walked into the back room and he placed the box into a large, heavy set chest. This was secured by a large lock, which had another key, secreted in Marchai’s beard. (Don’t ever be surprised by what dwarves can fit into their beards. They are able to carry things which would not normally fit into a space so small.) When Marchai had locked the chest and replaced the key deep within his beard, he turned to Lomlin.

“Over here,” he nodded his head over to a dark corner of the room, “is what you are looking for.” Marchai walked over to a workbench and opened a cupboard in the front of it. He pulled out a tray filled with clay jars from within and proffered them to Lomlin.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Sticky fire. I never knew you sold that stuff here.” Lomlin was clearly impressed with the surprise delivered by Marchai.

“Sticky fire is an old name, my friend. I call this stuff Troll-bane. This stuff is better than any magical gizmo you could think of, for getting rid of trolls.” (Trolls are large creatures, standing maybe eight to twelve feet in height and they have attitude problems. They believe that everyone else smaller than them was put on the earth to be squashed by them. This is of course false, but that doesn’t stop the trolls from trying. They come in a variety of colours, ranging from dull grey, to a fresh clay-brown. They are highly intolerant of fire and have been known to run away from chain smokers, because they lit up. Fire and acid are the best ways to deal with the common Troll. Any other method has proved to be only temporary, as their wounds heal incredibly quickly, possibly even resulting in the regeneration of lost limbs, including in some circumstances, the head.)

“I see.” Lomlin mused. “And how much would some of these set me back?”

“I’m currently selling them at the price of fifteen Kronep each. How many would you like?”

“That’s a bugger… I only have forty Kronep and I could really use four of those there things.” Marchai raised an eyebrow, in question of his kinsman’s attitude.

“I’ll tell you what, Lomlin.” He took two vials from that tray and placed them on the bench top. He replaced the drawer within the cupboard and took out another, similar one. He took two of these vials and placed them next to the original two. “These two,” he indicated the second two vials “Are currently in development. I don’t know the full extent of what happens when they are used. I’ll sell you these at half price, if you come and tell me what happens when you get round to using them.” Lomlin’s eyes widened at the mention of ‘in development’ but he still stroked his beard in consideration of the offer.

“You realise that I still can’t afford the price you are asking, what with all the other stuff I have purchased from you.”

“You still have not bought those products, yet… But, because you and your family have been so kind to me over the years, I’ll sell you your tent, blanket and these four presents for the sum of fifty Kronep.”

“This is a done deal. Lomlin drove his hand behind his beard and produced the pouch that Eltran had given him last night. This left him with no money, but a friend who owed him a favour in Brek, the Half-Orc, would be willing to cover expenses for a while.

I really should get on with chapter three.

At 2/5/05 09:16 AM, Eldarion wrote:

At 2/5/05 08:32 AM, Slightly_Crazy_Dude wrote: shit, i remember when you were a n00bling, youve grown strong young padawan :D

Haha, when will I get my lightsaber though? ;_;

<3(made by me)

At 2/5/05 03:22 PM, Kirkus wrote: <3(made by me)

Im not a star wars guy, but that is pretty cool and welcome all newcomers. Post your works if you will.

Myst, go and check out Kirkus' site. some of this shit rocks.kirkus' site link

At 2/5/05 03:38 PM, Coop83 wrote: Myst, go and check out Kirkus' site. some of this shit rocks.kirkus' site link

I will do so.

If people want to check out some of my artwork go to Retrogade.

These is my most recent submission: http://photoshop.retrogade.com/view.php?id=1637
http://photoshop.retrogade.com/view.php?id=1638

You don't have to be a member to see it, just to vote. But i would like some of your guys to check it out, along with some of my others. I have 9 submissions now. ^_^

yo, i know this is WAY too late, but, uuhhh, can i join you guys? i write a lot of creative writing, and have loads of fun ideas, but i am not that experienced in flash. so if myst wil let me join, itll be grand.

At 2/5/05 03:56 PM, lex117 wrote: yo, i know this is WAY too late, but, uuhhh, can i join you guys? i write a lot of creative writing, and have loads of fun ideas, but i am not that experienced in flash. so if myst wil let me join, itll be grand.

what makes you think its to late? just cause theclub has been around for a while doesn't mean we dont want any more more members.

so i guess im in. cool. so do you guys post ideas right here or do you send them to each other by mail?

At 2/5/05 04:01 PM, lex117 wrote: so i guess im in. cool. so do you guys post ideas right here or do you send them to each other by mail?

bit of both. sometimes people send emails to specific users othertimes people just post it in here. If you want a piece of writing to be reviewed then its better to post it here if you just want one persons opinion then email it tothem. Feel free topost some of your stuff or ideas here and we will give you feedback etc or look back through the pages and review the poems,scripts,stories and whatnot thats been posted I highly recomedn reading coop 83's storyy tis a bloody good read.

is there any limit of how long your story should be. 'cause so far im working on some kind of a novel thats 11 pages long [i just started] should i post just an excerpt from it?

At 2/5/05 04:09 PM, lex117 wrote: is there any limit of how long your story should be. 'cause so far im working on some kind of a novel thats 11 pages long [i just started] should i post just an excerpt from it?

if its 11 pages long.................then I recomend just breaking it down into installments and posting a part each day or something or just email it to anyone that wants to read it.

And no there isnt a limit to how long they cna be.

did anyone read my story idea? its on page 60 thanks.

At 2/5/05 02:55 PM, Coop83 wrote:

At 2/5/05 09:16 AM, Eldarion wrote:

At 2/5/05 08:32 AM, Slightly_Crazy_Dude wrote: shit, i remember when you were a n00bling, youve grown strong young padawan :D

Haha, when will I get my lightsaber though? ;_;

All padawans must craft their own lightsabre, to pass the test and achieve the rank of jedi knight.

Luke didn't have to >:(

Part 4

Great work, Coop a nice continuation of the story ;D

At 2/5/05 03:22 PM, Kirkus wrote: <3(made by me)

OMFG <3

Thank you for that selfless gift, Kirkus ^_^

At 2/5/05 03:38 PM, Coop83 wrote: Myst, go and check out Kirkus' site. some of this shit rocks.kirkus' site link

Wow, those are some awesome pics! Are you the same Kirkus as the Kirkus on RG? If you are, you need to submit some of those pics on RG, they're amazing! You'd be in the top 50, no bother.

---------------------------------------

I'm putting the finishing touches on that Part 2 edit, it should be ready later tonight.

[this is what it all begins with, a little prolougue. feel free to review this, i would love to hear your comments. thank you.

Planet: Unknown
System: Protonius
Dimension: 57k c34

Tasari Database:
This was the planet that the whole galaxy, no the whole First Space dreamed to take over. I mean there was no reason this planet shouldn't be called the beauty of the whole Eleven Spaces themselves. Well, it wasn't since no one of our race, the Quatronomes, or any race that we knew, got beyond Eighth Space. Oh it was perfect, the land, like a swirling mist that intersected its colors: green, blue, very light brown, and occasional metallic we assumed was wide switch-dimension machinery. Yes, they weren’t as advanced as us, but being more advanced than one specie doesn’t necessarily make the other specie more superior. No, definitely doesn’t. Given a million years bonus, our pets, the Ter Tyah could have outsmarted us.
The fact was that the planet had a secret, one that was protecting it all this time from destruction of many races that were very annoyed by it’s inhabitants and they’re meddling with their poor technology in very important space affairs.
In fact this planet was about to find out what this secret was in the near future. And that future would only come when the Protonius Project would be revealed...

At 2/5/05 04:41 PM, Eldarion wrote:

At 2/5/05 03:22 PM, Kirkus wrote: <3(made by me)

OMFG <3

Thank you for that selfless gift, Kirkus ^_^

no problem :)

At 2/5/05 03:38 PM, Coop83 wrote: Myst, go and check out Kirkus' site. some of this shit rocks.kirkus' site link

Wow, those are some awesome pics! Are you the same Kirkus as the Kirkus on RG? If you are, you need to submit some of those pics on RG, they're amazing! You'd be in the top 50, no bother.

yep, that's me, lol. thanks for the compliments :) It's always appreciated..but I think all my stuff will mostly get downvoted, I'm not the most 'liked' member at RG...especially with Iamnone, anmd definately with josh(I sorta yelled at him for deleting kreten because kreten exposed him for trying to hack razzo-an NG affiliates account on NG)

heylllo?

At 2/5/05 04:55 PM, catchdragon28 wrote: heylllo?

patience is avirtue possess it if you can. seldom found in woman never found in level one users appaerntly :P

Give me a minute Ill have a rea dof what you posted and give my opinion.

At 2/5/05 04:57 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote:

At 2/5/05 04:55 PM, catchdragon28 wrote: heylllo?

patience is avirtue possess it if you can. seldom found in woman never found in level one users appaerntly :P

Give me a minute Ill have a rea dof what you posted and give my opinion.

lol sry dude just i posted it like 3 hours ago and no one has said nanything..

Catach dragon justread what yoiu posted.

It was a bit confusing I fail to see why he was in the closet and why he ran back into the closet.

Where exactly are you planning on taking it? If you can tell me that then I may be bale to help you improve it by giving you ideas etc. The basicis is there at the moment but I can't where your trying to take it.

At 2/5/05 05:00 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: Catach dragon justread what yoiu posted.

It was a bit confusing I fail to see why he was in the closet and why he ran back into the closet.

Where exactly are you planning on taking it? If you can tell me that then I may be bale to help you improve it by giving you ideas etc. The basicis is there at the moment but I can't where your trying to take it.

he's in the closet because he is extremely paranoid. his paranoid state is explained in the beginning movie. lol i don't know where i'm taking this that's why i posted it. i think i'd like to take it in a direction wherehe maybe gets over his paranoidness so to speak or where i can lead into a sequel because i'd like to have a series.

At 2/5/05 05:10 PM, catchdragon28 wrote: he's in the closet because he is extremely paranoid. his paranoid state is explained in the beginning movie. lol i don't know where i'm taking this that's why i posted it. i think i'd like to take it in a direction wherehe maybe gets over his paranoidness so to speak or where i can lead into a sequel because i'd like to have a series.

Ah right I understand. Are you going for a comedy feel or a thriller feel? I need to know so I cna fire off ideas to help you out.

At 2/5/05 05:14 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote:

Ah right I understand. Are you going for a comedy feel or a thriller feel? I need to know so I cna fire off ideas to help you out.

it can be viewed as a comedy but i intend for it to be a creep you out kind of thriller.

At 2/5/05 05:16 PM, catchdragon28 wrote: it can be viewed as a comedy but i intend for it to be a creep you out kind of thriller.

Black comedy then.......hmmmmmmm ok then. Ill have a think and tyr and come up with some stuff........fire out any ideas thta you have at the moment and Ill give them the thumbs up or down in my opinion.

At 2/5/05 05:20 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: Black comedy then.......hmmmmmmm ok then. Ill have a think and tyr and come up with some stuff........fire out any ideas thta you have at the moment and Ill give them the thumbs up or down in my opinion.

ok well heres an idea for after he runs into the closet the second time:

it goes black then we see shisley working on the contraption again. another knock is heard, it is his mother again. "shisley dear i have dinner in my hand. would you like to eat it in your room or downstairs with the family?" shisley walks over to the door and sticks his hand out under the door. his mom sets down the plate and shisley drags the plate into his room. a tear falls from his mothers eye as she walks down the hall. shisley runs with the plate into the closet. he nibbles on the eggs and the tuna fish and then his face gets extremely red and sweat starts dripping. he holds his throat as if he is thirsty. he tries to fight off the feeling but he cannot so he crawls to the door and opens it a crack to see if anyone is there. no one is so he quickly runs to the bathroom and locks the door. he goes up to the sink and drinks water straight from the faucet. the door handle turns but is stopped by the lock, it is follow by repeated knocks. "unlock the fucking bathroom door!" is yelled by shisley father. shisley gets very scared and jumps into the bathtub and curls up into the fetal position. his dad keeps screaming and banging. "unlock the fucking door! shisley unlock the damn door you prick." shisley slowly crawls to the door and unlocks it. his dad throws open the door and picks up shisley and tosses him into the hall and shuts the door again. shisley sits in the hall for a split second then runs into his room and locks the door. he runs to the closet.

I think the best advice I can give you is to break the story up into more easily maneagable paragraphs. It hurts your eyes, just staring at a huge block of text, so if it gets broken up, more people will read it (plus it looks longer ;))

Maybe, when you've written a bit more, run a copy off and take it to school. See what your English teacher thinks of it. That was how I got some of my early inspiration. I'd sat in the IT room all lunch and produced three pages of the start of a short story. I left it in the front of my English book and it got handed in for marking. I thought I'd los the whole thing, but when I got it back, Mrs Faucet had produced a written review and encouraged me to finish the story.

Sometimes, you need help from humans, rather than what you read on a screen.

lol my english teacher would go insane. she'd kill me lol.

At 2/5/05 05:38 PM, catchdragon28 wrote: lol my english teacher would go insane. she'd kill me lol.

Why? what makes you say that. Some of the English teachers in the world are not totally sane, but I've never met one who would kill me for trying to be creative.

hmmmmmmmmmm....Im thinking making it a really dark thing would work well.....kind of like taking the viewer and sticking them into shisleys sick mind. Like say for example when he coems out to eat his breakfast or whatever he sees his food as something grotesque and it scares him sending him into a panic whihc results with him boarding himself up in the bathroom. His dad starts banging on the door and as he is banging you see shishley kind of crouched in a corner in foetal position with a kind of long view that makes the room look bigger than it is.

Dad enters the room and you se him normally then you sort of go to a shot of Shishleys eyes and see his dads reflection and its a monster or something. shisley then dvies out the window or soemthing liek that.

BetsI can coem up with at the moment. Thats how I would do it but I like gothic/dark thigns you may not.