Don't know how to critique, because I'm not very familiar with comic style, but I'll do my best.

The tendons are connected with the collar bones that's correct, but if she looks to one side we would mostly see the one which has the most tension. Sorry can't describe it better in English.

Example: She is looking to her right side, so we would see mostly just the her left tendon from the neck. (If you look at the picture it would be the right one), you can draw both but the one which is loose due to the direction she is looking. Should be much shorter.

Her neck muscle, one her left side wouldn't overlap her left shoulder.
The transition between neck muscle and should is smooth by females.
(I will send you a PM later, where you can study the female body and some nice tutorials.)
So you shouldn't draw muscular shoulders, except she should have strong shoulders.
The eyes are too close together, but it still works in this style.
Collar bones to close together. Let more space between them. It's hard to describe.

But still hope this helps you. Keep up the good work :)