Hey, guys. I'm sorry for being so inactive lately...

To be honest, I'm very gloomy recently. I'm just not that interested in drawing anymore... In fact, this isn't even recent. I drew this at a party a couple of months back, and it got lost in my house. Funny enough, we found in underneath my couch in perfect condition to other day. I never got around to taking this as a picture and posting it, and it was originally a gift for my mom.

After I saw it today, it just reminded me of how much I used to enjoy making my artwork and it makes me miss wanting to draw things for you guys. It reminded me of the darkness and the emptiness that I feel recently, and at this point I'm just giving up. I don't have any interest in doing anything but what's important in my life anymore. I don't want to draw anymore, and that just sickens me... I used to love doing this, but I don't know how I feel about it anymore.

That is why I decided to post this today. Not only is this an old piece that I never got to post, but it should give you guys a better idea of my train of thought then and now. Think of the first figure as my old self, the curious, kind, and generous one. Now, think of the figure hanging, the self loathing, empty, personality, and connect that to me now. That's why this picture meant so much to me when I found it. I didn't realize that my brain was giving me signs, warnings, if you will, and I'm right.

A lot of my work, as of 2014, has been getting a lot darker and more spooky. I've been noticing it, and it's horrid in ways. Creative and expressive, but it's not me. I'm the person that wants to love everyone, and my art means more than the world to me. The thought that it's my art itself that's making me feel empty is just depressing. I am in my own little Dark Realm, and this can better express that to me.

Don't be surprised if you don't see any art for a while. I'm sorry, but it's just not right to slave myself to doing something I just don't want to do anymore. The future may be hard to tell. I may just give up, and never draw again. I could get more music out. Hell, I could end up becoming something I don't want to be just to make a living. I love this, but I can't do it as long as I have these problems in my life. If things change, then maybe. That's all hard to tell at this point, though. Leave comments and favorites, if you will, but I don't think that there's a lot that can change my mind right now.

For those I have hurt, I'm deeply sorry. For those who I irritate, don't talk to me anymore (it'll do you great good). For those who don't like my work, it's probably the best judgement. I'm mediocre in my work, if that, and I can't keep up with this horrible art competition any longer. If changes happen to me, maybe I'll come back. I won't leave DeviantART, but I sure as hell won't be on as much. Things may be different one day, but that's a hope and sometimes we can't depend on mind sets such as hope. Sometimes, we have to just depend on ourselves. If you guys care for me, I care for you. If you don't like me, then you can fuck off and I'll love my life while you live yours.

I need to stop being a teenager and start being an adult. Farewell, for now. Wish me the best in my wandering travels through the gray valley of dreams and nightmares. That's life, and we all have to face it eventually. Goodbye.