Here's the link to the wip:

This is a sort of long winded explanation, but bear with me please. This is my first time entering a Jazza contest, but I've been watching the videos for years. Had to make an account for this, and I'm a little nervous, but the theme of this month hits very close to home for me.

I was diagnosed with PTSD about 2 years back, after dropping out of high-school. It's severe and causes me to have seizures, but some other symptoms are depression and anxiety. For years, even before my diagnoses, I secluded myself. I didn't bathe or brush my teeth, I overrate, destroyed my self esteem and didn't talk to my friends. Isolation is a long time enemy-- and friend-- of mine.

This is not a portrait of me, but a character from the D&D stream critical role. This character also has PTSD and I relate to him on a massive level. This character also isolated himself for many years, and his arc throughout the show has been mainly centered around making friends and being comfortable with himself and others again. I've been moved to tears several times while watching him grow. This show inspired me to play d&d. I reconnected with friends and felt passionate about something again. Things have been better. I didn't want to paint myself because of my self esteem issues but I thought this character was a perfect representation of my own journey and what it can mean to isolate yourself by choice.

Fire is the source of light because this character killed his own parents by burning their house down. This is his main source of trauma. Fire causes him to have flashbacks, triggers panic attacks, ect. Caleb (the character I chose to depict) also wields fire and often uses it as an excuse to isolate himself. Partly out of fear he will hurt someone he cares about again. I also used my trauma as an excuse to distant myself from others, and I understand both the pain and comfort that isolation can bring. It can be warm, fuzzy and safe just as much as it can be fierce, painful and dangerous. Just like fire.

Hilariously, the fire is probably the WORST thing in the painting 😂 I haven't drawn in a very long time and it was a challenge for sure, but one that caused me a lot of reflection. I'm grateful for this character, for d&d, for this show, and my friends who have been my rock. Thanks for the amazing prompt, Jazza. Whether ot not this piece gets noticed, it inspired me to pick up an old hobby and admire my own strengths ❤