A little birthday present to myself.

Having left the drudgery of her civil service job behind, Erin settles into her new life online. Gone are the nine-to-five rat race of traffic and daily commutes, the monotony and mild-numbingly boring days of being trapped under fluorescent lights. Now she can set her own schedule, roll out of bed whenever she feels like it, and not even get out of her pajamas if she feels like it... That is, if she wears anything to bed, which she doesn't.

But don't let her seemingly sedentary life fool you... it's a full-time job. For every five minutes of video footage and five times that amount of time taking pictures, they both require endless hours of editing and cropping. Any idiot can hit the record button on their cell camera, but it takes a committed artist to turn that footage into something that people will want to watch...and, more importantly, come back and watch again and again.

One thing is for certain with a life that revolves around YourFans and Pay-Tree-On...

...people are weird.

Sure, she's gotten used to taking her clothes off and fondling herself to make a living, but she has her limits. Cosplay as some random anime character? Sure, no problem. Strut around the house while stripping off her old super-spy costume? Absolutely...ninety-nine percent of her followers have come to the site in hopes of seeing just that.

Video herself using the bathroom? Hard block. Do a photo shoot of herself scissoring with a certain green-skinned woman. Conclusively, one hundred percent yes. But it'll cost you extra.

Sitting in her breakfast nook, Erin scrunches up her nose as she looks over her laptop screen. It's not quite revulsion, but Kat knows that look. Sipping at a cup of coffee, she gives her pink-haired bestie a knowing smirk around the rim of her upturned cup.  Somebody has requested something on the strange side.

Erin: Seriously? You're kidding, right?

Kat: What now?

Erin: This guy wants me to dress up in a diaper, suck on a baby bottle, and make 'goo-goo gah-gah' noises.

Kat: What, no pacifier?

Erin: Ohh, har-dee-har-har. And this guy... (taps on the laptop screen)  This guy wanted me to fart on command...and video it...while dressed up as Bo-Peep.

Kat abruptly spit-takes into her coffee cup, trying not to laugh and choke at the same time. Erin stabs at her mouse, emphatically right-clicking the 'block' button on her screen.

Kat: Now, you knew what you were getting into. It's a big, wide, weird world full of pervs...and every single one of them has a dic-pic or crotch-shot to share with you.

Erin raises an eyebrow in mock surprise, eyeing the woman sitting opposite her.

Erin: And how is it that a suburban housewife with two kids and minivan know so much about 'dic-pics' and the weird-wide-web?

Kat: (matter-of-factly) I have a soon-to-be ex-husband.

Erin non-verbally acknowledges her with an awkward look towards the ceiling, mouthing a silent 'ah'. The two sit in silence for a time, Kat swirling her nearly empty coffee cup, Erin scrolling and typing...occasionally waving or making a kissing gesture toward her laptop camera. It isn't until Kat notices Erin making an honest-looking smile at her screen, that one of them breaks their silence.

Erin: Why... Why can't that all be like this guy? A slightly dark sense of humor, but...usually polite, and always complimentary.

Just as Kat opens her mouth to say something...probably to warn her about the 'polite serial killers' of the world...when an alert tone announces that Erin has a new private message. Erin clicks and reads it with an ever-growing smile, finally looking up at her green friend. With a quick click of the mouse and flurry of typing to announce that she'll 'brb', Erin gets up from the table a makes a bee-line towards her bedroom.

Kat: Uh-oh. What does the serial killer want now?

A moment later Erin emerges in a red, strapless evening gown and heels...the side-slit on the dress ends somewhere on her hip bone, revealing a set of hazelnut-colored stockings below it. Erin grabs her laptop, spinning it to face the living room beyond, then grabs a wooden spoon off the countertop. Once again, Kat opens her mouth to say something...when Erin breaks into song.

Erin: Happy birthday...to yooou. Happy birth-day...to yooou.

Kat blinks, mouth agape, watching as Erin holds the spoon like a microphone. All of her mannerisms and sensual gestures are not unlike Marylin Monroe's singing for an audience of one.

Erin: Happy birth-day, dear Phillip. Happy birthday...tooo yoooou.

A little nibble of her lower lip at the end absolutely sells it...and the wet spot in Kat's underthings confirms it. The green-skinned woman sets her coffee down, standing to easily rid herself of all her clothing.

Kat: You need to take that dress off and bend over that counter right this instant...

Original Art by Ghostbot

Colors and Edits by Phillipthe2