24 frames per second. To many, that is the standard frame rate in which an animated film is played. To me, it’s the rate in which my awesome thoughts are portrayed to an audience privileged enough to witness them. 

My process is simple: My incredible mind conjures epic imagery which is then transported to my hyper-dexterous hand which then translates the image to the real world via my trusty No. 2 Ticonderoga pencil. I spend many sleepless nights tossing and turning as crazy cartoon characters flash before my eyes. Bugs Bunny. Homer Simpson. What if Mickey Mouse had a gun? Yeah, I know Walt Disney. We’re good friends. He gave me a sip of his beer once. One time we watched Over the Hedge on DVD and laughed til our faces turned purple. I haven’t seen him around much since I started taking this new medication. 

I can pretty much draw anything. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of anatomy. Name any muscle and I can pretty much draw it with 100% pinpoint accuracy. Go ahead. Latissimus Dorsi? Easy peasy. I just drew that in like five seconds and it’s really good. I don’t know how to post more than one image on Newgrounds so you’ll have to take my word for it. 

Animation? Buddy, don’t even get me started on animation. Animation is my blood, my life force. I know all the animation principles. Timing. Spacing. Squash & stretch. What? Overlap? Secondary action? Here’s some secondary action for you: The seconds it’ll take between my fist hitting your face and you hitting the ground. Needless to say, I don’t make drawings move. I bring them to life. Motherfucker.