watching femboy fishing with my best friend in my garage loft drinking ciroq and practicing herbalism , wrote this. i go back and forth on whether it should be called "femboy" or "catboy" because i don't want to slander femboy fishing, she is a queen i love her

this is shit i hate the guitar tone and i recorded the vocals when i was ripped, but i think you can only focus on writing a song about this for so long

[edit 2023: Did you know that if you put a limiter before your compressor it makes everything sound like shit? I found that out. After two years. I don't think it sounds like shit anymore.]

Lyrics:

Back in my days as a shitty teenager,

just wanted to get up to a whole lotta danger

So I booked a White House tour to suck the president’s dick

(I don’t know why I wanted to do that, I was a little shit)

I Walked Over To The Airport.

And I Bought A Ticket At the MSP…. Airport.

Yes, I just did that, I don’t fucking care,

just listen to my story, it gets worse from here

Reagan International, I arrived,

with my cute boy face and my pretty girl thighs.

My cat ears are brandished, maid outfit outlandish,

hope that he knows that a femboy is the main dish.

I hailed a cab by showin my thigh;

he stopped by and he was asking why.

I said, “I’m going to meet Joe Biden,”

but I didn’t want to tell him about how I was gonna suck his dick.

“Hey!” He said, “don’t mean to sound terse,

but you wouldn’t be Joe Biden’s first.”

I hopped out of the cab on the White House lawn

and I’ll never forget the things I saw

I’ve seen Joe Biden’s hog at night (chorus)

I pulled up to the White House door and I knocked.

Waiting for Joe Biden, my stomach was in knots.

Looked through the window and no one could be seen

except for a secret service guy who made eye contact with me.

My heart began to race as I thought of the possibilities:

a card-carrying kitten communist with a bunch of unpaid tickets and fees.

Shit… FUCK… he’s walking to the door!

I wonder what type of fresh Hell I’m in for.

A voice boomed over the microphone and said,

“President Joe Biden is sleeping in his bed,

but I make some exceptions for some on this guest list

but you have to give me your qualifications.”

I got inside by showin my thigh;

the came down and he asked me why.

I said, “I’m going to meet Joe Biden,”

but I didn’t want to tell him about how I was gonna suck his dick.

“Hey!” He said, “don’t mean to sound terse,

but you wouldn’t be Joe Biden’s first.”

I shot him a smile and paid him no mind:

Joe Biden is mine.

Up the sultry steps of the White House I ascended

Trying to find Joe Biden's bedroom unattended

A gleeful *oink* sounded right behind me,

A little unorthodox in my fantasy

I whipped around, my eyes a gape

as I saw a massive hog wrapped in a cape

If you don't believe me, look em in the eyes: Joe Biden's hog really does fly.