A hundred days had passed since the Vorlecks came

Searching through the ruins for our memories

I found a man who always preached, while dressed in white

Caring for this lovely thing: his “Southern pride”

What he had to say, “Mammoth Cave’s the way”

Hearing voices echoing through my brain

Packed myself a bag; to the caves I went

Searching through the ruins oh fuck I tripped and I fell down deep inside

No one’s found a way inside

I remember as he warned, the story of my life.

Feeling all alone inside

I remember as I looked up at Mitch McConnell’s eyes

Days n’ days had passed, since the rabbit cave

Searching through these ruins for my memory

I found a map that marks a star, a way outside

Teaching lessons on the way about Southern Pride

Billy Yank’s Respite, Johnny Reb’s reply

Through the trenches of northern aggression, I fiercely climb

I get to the end, an area of webs.

Searching through this place I think I’m going to fall down deep inside

No one found a way inside

I remember as he whispered “story of my life”

Wrapped within his webs, so fine

I remember as he kissed me while deeply in my eyes

Yes to them, and to me we’re a different kind

Motherfuckers of the same mind; unblind

Cannot believe his indifference to his kindness

End the ignorance of the addled self to bliss

Try this, he was making me dream again; find this, once heartless I feel again | His

Beautiful carapace, 8-legs of youth—he made sure I lived in God’s truth.

“I Hate You!” I screamed into his face

As he lifted the blinders and I could see from the end of our long embrace | He was

Trying to make way for me, prying to make haste for the

Transformation of lives to be, insatiable love for the future of humanity

With one of his legs, he freed my hand

And produced a ring with a diamond so grand

Your climbing skills are not matched by any

Here’s 10,000 gold, will you be my wifey Jenny?

I spilled my Big Gulp on my fucking keyboard!

I tried to respond, but the letters were jumbled

I watched helplessly as my chances descended

I won’t ever be with him because my Runescape session ended…