Hmmm

Okay, I can tell youve tryed to make this different and I can see were you were trying to go...

But i can also tell you got bored and decided to copy and paste a lot instead of writing new riffs

Try some diversity, add an offbeat here and there, a drop and a pulse, it seems very "onioney" if that makes sense lol (as in you can tell were youve just deleted a layer or added one)

good try tho and good luck with your next tracks