–Verse 1–

There’s a man in need

I respond with speed

I will save him from flaming online

Because sticks and stones

May break our bones

But words will break our mind!

I’m a righteous and pious defender

Putting meanies on their shelves

Champion of the weak, the savior of the meek

Too dumb to defend themselves

–Interlude–

And there’s one among you all

Who needs me most, to heed their call…

–Pre-Chorus–

I’m here to protect you Elon

I'll scare all the trolls away.

I'll fight for forever, for Eons

To make sure you’re okay!

I’ll respond to all your hatred

I won’t boo when you’re on stage!

I’ll accept you as cool and eccentric

When you refuse to act your age~

–Chorus–

I’m simpin’ for Elon

From dawn until dusk

Keep the mean folks away, I’ll fight every day

I’m shielding the Musk

You might think I’m weird

But I should be feared

Cuz I am never backing down

–Interlude–

You’ll rue the day

I entered the fray

–Verse 2–

Elon, can you see me?

Do you see the things I do?

Do you know I was there to defend you?

Did you notice I bought Twitter Blue?

Do you know how much it hurt me

When you said you had to go.

There cannot be a worthy successor

For the twitter CEO

–Bridge–

You’re a beacon of online freedom

When you ban those corrupt Dems

Do you think we could possibly meet up for lunch?

We can talk shit about they/thems

I glowed when you told non-blue users

Their votes will never count

It’s their fault, cuz their vote to depose you

Was a fraudulent amount

–Pre-Chorus–

I love what you did with Twitter

You put a price tag on free speech

The poor’s opinions will never matter

What a perfect lesson to teach

–Chorus–

I’m simpin’ for Elon

I’m leading the charge

Cuz he isn’t a bitch, and he’s always been rich

And his follower count’s so large

OH, ELON~

I’m simping for Elon

I won't falter or balk

I’ll always respond, I’ll impress you Elon

So I can ride your Ego’s cock

OH, ELON~

–Outro–

I’m simpin’ for Elon

I’m simpin’ for Elon

I’m simpin’ for Elon