Well, I sort of like the strange intervals in your melodies in the beginning, but once in a while something in key would sound nice! I may not know what's going on, but I can hear you arranging and building some ideas here. You're on the right track. Keep it up with your variety of instruments and phrasing. I can hear the intentionality there. Where this piece is hard for me to really understand is what is supposed to harmonize with what, is that intentional dissonance, etc. While it may not be my cup of tea, I'm sure someone would like it somewhere.

I also see you have a lot of other pieces. This is good. The more you practice, the better you will become. Take some time to learn about scales and musical theory/songwriting. Some basics there will do you good!

ALSO, I APPLAUD THE FACT THAT NOTHING IS OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD, GRATING TO MY EARS, AND EVERYTHING IS ACTUALLY MIXED FAIRLY WELL. all caps because this is a huge plus

make sure everything is in the proper key pls