my tenth single as cnri, originally released Aug. 24, 2022, rereleased Mar. 10, 2023

available as part of my digital anthology "smile, you're on camera!"

this one was made for FORM All Nighter volume 7 and i didn't get in. by the way, this song is about being trans

lyrics:

to the scars on my wrist, how'd i do this again?

silver light on my skin, i swear, it's not what you think

in the mirror i stand, but my shape don't make sense

certain things i regret; they told me i stress too much

i will never get to be myself

that perfect girl lives in my dreams

in flowing dresses and floral scenes, oh no

sometimes this feeling simply floods my brain

in a defective me, i wake up again

i'll take this secret to my grave

again and again and again

so wait for me, please?

i'll join you someday when it's safe

so wait for me, please

i'll join you someday

if someday ever comes