Per your request, here are the rough notes I took for your AIM 2024 entry:
I wish the guitar section at 0:29-0:42 were repeated/extended to at least double its length.
Lots of great moments, love the idea of the metal screams juxtaposed with the beautiful sung parts.
The vocals during the normal sung parts are off-key in a way that is quite distracting. They also sound like the throat is closed, making it difficult to hear the lyrics that are being sung.
Great flow of sections, especially towards the end. Just wish there was more sense of the bassline there to balance out those square arps.
COMPOSITION: I think the structure works well for the most part, and the incorporation of sung vocals with metal screaming is a good approach to the theme and a great connection between sections. Again, I think I got similar feelings to your entry from last year in that the melodic ideas feel underexplored here - there's a lot of great sections and transitions between them, but I feel like we don't really spend a lot of time hearing the sections develop to their full potential, which makes the entire track feel very rushed - especially given that the track is not even 3 minutes long but there's so many ideas packed into it.
PRODUCTION: The vocals are quite loud and I wish we heard more of the bass in the last section to balance out the square arps. I also think there should have been some pitch correction for the sung parts - it sounds awkward when the notes are off-key and the enunciation isn't that well-performed.
EMOTION: The song has a dark, cathartic feeling to it that I do get a sense of.
ART RELEVANCE: I think this song does a great job at conveying the tone and expression from the character and their inner turmoil, especially the switching between normally sung vocals and the metal screaming.
veryfakeguest 
