Man I'm going to be honest
This needs a LOT of work. Honestly, it sounds like a bunch of sounds thrown together in a loopish sort of way. If this is hip hop, you really can't tell. I like the idea of using tambourines instead of kicks, but that sound you have instead of the snare is a bit on the annoying side.
Also, check your notes, a few of them seem off.
Keep on it though man, you'll get it soon.
doomshock 
