Full song.

Your song ideas are really good, man. I like what they could become for sure.
The production end, is often hard for a musician who just likes to play their music. All of a sudden we've also had to become producers as well!? hehe.
I won't complain about the production. It compares to say, a boxer having to "promote" his own fights. He's just the guy with the fists.

My biggest complaint here is that your guitar is slightly off tune. Make sure you tune it before EVERY recording. No matter how much potential or how good your song is (and this is good) having an out of tune guitar can cause people to not listen to more than the first few seconds.

I like this a lot. I look forward to a final version. I really like all your musical ideas.

Awesome

Well, the minus parts have been pointed out already by the previous reviewer, the clipping, a couple of playing mistakes and the abrupt ending. But I'm sure you'll take care of those so I'll get to the positive part : This is an awesome metal track ! It has to be said that you're really good at this, and, even with the few flaws, it still sounds great. The intro is amazing and the overlaping of melodies is very smooth. Excellent metal track !

Meh.

Still needs work, in my opinion.
It sounds like there are quite a few mistakes in your playing; you don't have to record the whole thing in one take, you know. You can go back and fix certain parts without completely rerecording everything.
There's some clipping happening every now and then. Clipping = very bad.
Also, the end cuts off pretty abruptly. A fadeout will suffice, if you can't come up with a good outro.
Really, this shouldn't be a finished product; it needs quite a bit more work.
But the potential is definitely there; I will say that. THe melodies are cool, the guitar parts are cool... just needs polishing.
Metal! \m/