Mastering?
The score writing is awesome, and I can tell where your going with this, but it really seems like all the sounds are out of control volume-wise and blending. I would suggest working on that ((Adding a limiter to the master fx channel and then adding random compressors to the high end instruments helps a LOT))
The drum samples sometimes just sounded like... not good, ye know? Over powering some of the more exciting parts, and then other times it just seems like about ready to blow my headphones apart ((And I am only at 30% volume, so... Mastering needs a lot of work))
So here is how I would break it down for you.
Mastering - 0/10 ((because it seems you didn't do any at all))
Effects - 4/10 (( I liked a lot of the random effects and sweeps and stuff, but the vocals were kind of painful, they were too high pitched and kind of scratched at the ears.))
Score Lead and Harmony - 9/10 ((I liked how you recreated everything and made it your own, that was awesome, but I couldn't really tell the whole thing because of the... not good mastering, or lack there of))
Score bass - 9/10 ((Same as above))
Over all - 8/10 ((Because I really like the song, and what you did to it, but it was painful to sit through the whole thing and that was disappointing, also, if I turned down my headphones I couldn't hear much more than static-like pounding...))
So, good work, but needs a LOT of mastering to make it sound better :D
7/10
5/5