A philosophical question.
What is the point of a remix? is it to make something better using a particular song as base? or to mix it up to make it appeal to a entirely different kind of a crowd? Or something entirely different? I've listened to both versions and mind you; BOTH have piano which has that certain kind of impact to the listener (ie. ME) but your version seems to lack that certain "oomph" kind of effect compared to the original. (not that its necessarily bad thing mind you) Maybe its the "Die, bitch" quote.
I wish you luck on future project's sir.
PS. I cant think of anything constructive so you be the judge of what i just said, kudos.