HNNNNNNNGGGH.

Keep on practicing dude, your melody sounds pretty damn false when the kick comes in at 3:17, it doesn't sound too bad in general, but you've really gotta work on alot of things, it sounds more like hardtrance as it is right now rather than hardstyle, I like how you tried remaking the intro of Headhunterz's Psychedelic sounds pretty much alike, in any case the track itself could be way worse, you just need alot of practice. Keep it up dude.

Greetz ~ [Noisebringer]