My review, your clip.
Be sure your various instruments have matching or in tune semitone variations from one another.
Set each instrument to their own mixer channel so you can compress them. A lot of metal is often very heavily compressed to get this sort of unchanging/never ending flow of volume type of sound.
On your lead with about a .5 delay 15-25% reverb addition will probably buff it up, widen the sound, and make it a bit more organic.
Play with volume dynamics so the notes rise and swell a little, and so the strum repeats on the guitars aren't machine gunning.
The writing itself is interesting and nicely lined up.
Instruments could use mixer tweaking to get a better/more guitar like sound. Basically if you send your insturments to a channel with reverb to soften the decays of the instruments, chain those to another channel and apply some form of amp or distortion, they will sound far far superior.