Okay, so a friend of mine sent me this on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=FlcfB9ZPmJw&feature =related.
Upon seeing it, my desire to play the piano again was somewhat reignited, but I do not have a piano in my apartment, and the virtual one, while a novelty, can get frustrating with its lack of black keys and inability to play chords severely limiting the pieces that can be played on it.
So I decided I'd try to look for a virtual keyboard that at least allowed for accidentals and chords as well, and voila! I actually found one!

But what to play on it? Even with the full chromatic scale and the ability to hit more than one note at a time, one and a half octaves is still not a lot to work with.
Aerosmith's "Dream On" seemed promising (not to mention I was doing much better than on this song), until that long running scale that frickin' hits the B below the C.
Europe's "Final Countdown," Journey's "Open Arms", and Nazareth's "Where are You Now" were also no-gos.
Then I decided to retreat into one of my favorite songs of all time, Heart's "Alone".
And I found that I could render an acceptable version, albeit without any lower register.
So here is the result of one of my many attempts.

No scores or tutorials used. Played totally by ear.
It's terrible: too slow, inconsistent tempo and even some of the notes are probably wrong.
But it's the first straight run I've had with this piece without me stopping in the middle, swearing loudly and kicking the shit out of my desk.
I'll probably do another, much better version of this.
And will probably have to buy a new desk after having kicked this into splinters. Ah well.
... Maybe I should just buy a USB MIDI keyboard.

Must have done at least a hundred takes and dropped at least ten times as many f-bombs in the process. Didn't help that PC kept on lagging and crashing.
Recorded through computer soundcard using Audacity.
Virtual keyboard can be found here: http://www.bgfl.org/bgfl/
custom/resources_ftp/clie nt_ftp/ks2/music/piano/in dex.htm
Song was of course composed by Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly, and first made popular by Heart.