Needs work.
Alright... all the crap that's panned to the right makes it sounds kinda weird, I don't quite like it. It's kind of the same melody over and over and over again with no variation, the only drum is a snare and it sounds kind of silly like that so what I'D say is... Add more drums, pan everything to the center, and, well, add more parts to the song. That's kind of it.