Good Try
I love that melody :D u should stick to it.
Maybe u should stick to the piano until that boom around 0:43 and make it more "boom" since there was hardly a change in the bass even with my BIG bass. Try using the piano for the bigger boom, i hardly notice the one at 0:30. Here's a simple idea, stick with the piano for the 30 secs then start the part of the song that started at 0:43. Try changing the volume and maybe do some mixing to the final part of the song to make it sound more unique.
My review sucks but its like midnight here and im tired :\
3/5
7/10
74/100
Finish it!