Soft Spot, you hit it.
I have a soft spot for orchestral metal, especially when neither the guitar nor the orchestra takes a backseat to the other, and this has just the right balance.
Biggest issue you're already aware of, which is the mixing, it is absolutely horrid, but that's something that can be fixed. Next up would be that it's so damn short! But I can't give you too much crap on that front, as I get a lot of the same complaint about my own music.
I also love the guitar riffs from 0:30 onwards, before that, it's pretty damn cliché, but the fact that it fits in nicely with the strings makes up for that.
Overall, I think this could definitely be turned into something great, which is why I've gone ahead and featured this song as my pick for Song of the Week! Congratulations!