It's a tad over 2 minutes, sorry. Hope that's okay!

My take on Grumpy Professor.

"Sit down, young man. Now, listen to me very carefully. You might actually learn something, god forbid. I have been instructing at universities for over 30 years. In that time, I have traveled the world! I have spoken to historians, ministers, presidents, religious leaders...all for the sake of expanding my knowledge of their countries and traditions. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, YOUNG MAN?! ...Good. The reason I'm telling you all of this, is so that I can now address your behavior with this brief history in mind. You possess a strange charisma and a headstrong nature; perhaps you'll be a future leader of this rebellious generation. That's all good and well. However, you display a complete lack of dedication to work, a complete disregard for authority, and complete disdain for me and my teachings. Well, you ought to know that during my travels, I studied extensively with masters of the forbidden martial arts. And with a carefully aimed TAP of my finger, I could paralyze you from the neck down for the rest of your MISERABLE, WRETCHED LIFE. Think you can be a future leader of the people with no use of your limbs?? I didn't think so. So...next time you are in my classroom, you will show respect for my teachings, you will show respect for my authority, and you will respect me. Understood? ...Good. Now, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE! Oh, and don't forget your fifteen page essay on ancient mesopatamian agriculture. It's due tomorrow morning, you know."