I see some potential in this

It has that dark odd feeling i like on trance songs. You got the melodies down alright, that break down to the melody was astounding, but i think a major flaw in this song is the production. Take my advice and take some time off to learn more about mixing EQing and mastering. Trust me, it will take your music so much further. Even if you have the greatest melody, no one will want to hear if it sounds like crap! + all that distortion, can really damage your eardrums, and for us musicians, thats a precious thing to loose. Think about it.

-Allen
p.s. come review my last song out, Vampira. Id like to hear what you have to say about it.