Well I'm not into metal, but I'll try anyway ! =3

Melodies :
The good thing is you managed to create various and complex melodies, with multiple variations ! You have creativity on this point. I like how you turned a rather "peaceful" melody (0:00) into something hardcore (0:24).
But I don't like them. Your legitimate reaction would be wondering why I'm taking off half a star for something entirely subjective. Well if I don't like them, there's a reason. I, probably, wouldn't be the only one to dislike the melodies : this is because they lack in identity. What does that mean ? Well it's like you put notes together without really knowing where you were going. It doesn't really has a sense. Consequence : we forget the melody, it's actually not... "good" enough.
When you write a melody, I may be wrong (tell me if so), but you're supposed to seek for beauty or epicness, and I can't feel any of these. I don't pretend to be a good artist or something like that, but I think my solid point is my melodies. Try to take a look to see how you're supposed to write something memorable (Atomic's melody is maybe my best one, go and see, then become a God).

Instruments :
0:24 and 1:55 : omagad this is too much left-panned !
Apart from that, perfect. Both calm (0:00 and 2:57) and heavy guitar sounds really good, thanks to that awesome cocooning bass. I love what you did with the drums (0:35, 1:06 : oh wow gah orgasm). The panning is great too, for example at the whole beginning, when you switch the pans (0:11), it flows really well.
Well there's not a lot of instrument so I can't tell much, but it's really nice mate.

Personality :
I love how you reused 0:23's structure at 1:55. It's very interesting. And the title is great ! X)
Apart from that, unfortunately, like I said earlier, due to those unmemorable melodies, well it's not incredible. I don't like to say that because I can feel the amount of work you put into this, but it drowns into every other song without being able to distinguish itself. You need to find a proper melody and it'll be awesome !

Melodies : 1,5/2
Instruments : 2/2
Personality : 0,5/1

Apart from this melody problem, it's really great mate ! By the way I'm strict in the review's score because the aim is to make the artist progress, but of course, in overall, it's worth a 5 friend (that's why I rated 5 in the song's score). Just take a look, as I suggested, at my melodies (it's not advertising, I'm serious toward the quality of them - even if I'm totally bragging) and you'll make awesome tracks !
Much love. <3

Solid work! Nice voicing, good playing and catchy - it's hard to make a good metal tune in a major key, but you pulled it off with aplomb.