very good nice voice, reminds me of Héroes del Silencio
Author Comments
I usually don't share my WIPs because they embarrass me (because they're far from perfect), but here. Also, I'm not sure what genre this is due to the fusion of some trap, video game, folk, and electronic elements. I'm just going to slap in in Goth for now because of the utterly dark theme. Nothing here is really concrete except the lyrics, and I haven't done any velocity/other crap or really fiddled with individual instrument volume. Gonna do that later. May even change up the whole arrangement.
Vocals were recorded in 1 take per part before instrumentation was written. So there's a lot I'm gonna need to work on, including taming those pitchy moments and not singing before bed, especially that damn high. Seriously, I don't go there, like ever. The whole thing took a couple minutes to write, about and hour to do the takes, an hour to write the instrumental and decide what I wanted to do with it, and an additional hour fighting sleep to mix and edit each vocal track because my mic is like 20 dollars, the soundcard on my laptop is shit, and Mixcraft 7 noise cancellation isn't perfect. Only uploading this for the people in my life who I can't send a file on fb, like my mom, lmao. Also, I'm not sure what tf kind of accent infested me but I just rolled with it.
This was written about my dad mostly, but also about others I've lost, and for occasions when everyone tells you you can't cry forever, because crying doesn't change anything. Those of you who hate hearing that might like this.
Lyrics:
You left behind a
Red like rose
stain on whitest snow
Where did you go
When the night grew cold
While inside I mourn
cause my mother warned
I should not cry long
you will still be gone
On the dusty road
Only dead men know
You are too far gone
for my sorrow song
to reach your ears
hands to dry my tears
hear my mother's hum
I waste the breath in my lungs
because you're gone
ADR3-N responds:
Glad you liked!
So far, so good. I didn't knew you had such vocal range.
The lower and mid notes go really well with the rest of the idea.
I'm not so sure about the higher voice, it gives to the vocal melody a sweeter vibe, but I think (just based on personal taste) that range of notes would be better suited for another synth line, maybe as background to contrast with the rest of the instruments and reinforce the melancholy on this piece.
ADR3-N responds:
B2 - E6, why thank you ;) Although I ordinarily don't sing that high unless I have no other option, such as when I have no one else to sing for me. I don't have much control in my head register, which you can probably hear here. I sang the vocals before I wrote anything else, starting with that high register, intending to reference right about where children whine and cry -- you don't see them belting out Barry White, basically -- and that's right about where my voice goes when I get really upset. It just so happens I was pretty upset and that was where my voice wanted to go. I might take a look and see about better spacing and contrast though. Maybe different sections more naked. Alone, the acapella sounds quite sweet but twisted, as you mentioned. It's something that merits more tender attention than singing at 5 AM before bed, for sure, lol.
Thank you!
I read through your comments/lyrics here.. sending kind feelings your way, thank you for sharing this very raw and beautiful song - I'm going to have to embarrass you and your 'WIP' further and post it as a favorite on my side. <3
Also, I thought this was interesting: "Emotional tears.. have been found to contain protein-based hormones including the neurotransmitter leucine enkephalin, a natural painkiller that is released when the body is under stress."
I'll keep an eye out if you do decide to work further with this, but as it is now, you have a great and captivating song!
ADR3-N responds:
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I appreciate it more than I can say. Dad passed a week after I graduated college, almost a year ago now. I'm just now getting to where I can talk about it without crying, but I'm not quite over it yet, and I still dream about him nightly. I'll shoot you a message if and when I polish this song up.
Really good work for the vocal part (in only one take !!). Maybe adding some texture/ pad synthesizers in your final arrangement would "fill the space" and emphasize the vocal part ?
ADR3-N responds:
Good thoughts. I was thinking maybe some stringy pads, although I want a more naked vocal in parts just because there is no chorus. I mostly wrote it as a chant
A strange but beautiful piece, slow and collected, eerie, traditional, yet with the beat that almost reminds of the synthy eighties and videogame music. I think the low-quality recording makes it feel older, too. The sound quality goes well with the style, and it's not bad per say, it's just the hazy tone that sets it back. Didn't expect to hear you singing, or singing something like this if you did, or making something as poetic as this!
The verse seems simple but polished, pure and heartfelt, no overly complicated rhymes but a very smooth flow and functional rhyme. Feels like you can hear the emotion seeping through the notes too; maybe with the folk style in particular.
The WIP part hmm... wonder what's really left to do with it? Mastering? I suppose the instrumental could be 'mightier', with strings, echo, higher notes, but overall it feels pretty great as is. Nice piece.
-cd-
ADR3-N responds:
Glad you liked, and thanks for the review! Yes, I still need to write a more concise instrumental, add velocity, and do a more polished recording. Indeed, I was going for somewhat of an 80's vibe amongst all the other genres pulled from. Does need mixing and mastering, as well as a little bit more polish on all of the above. I appreciate the critique!
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