I like the drums and a lot of the individual riffs, but the rhythm is pretty hard-to-follow at times. You also seem to add and subtract instruments without warning, and that's especially noticeable when it's the drums (e.x., :48 and :57). There are a lot of staccato-y sounds in this piece. I think the piece would sound a lot smoother if you had some pads or something in there. There's also not much melodic content in this piece, just a dense patchwork of riffs. You also don't really change the volume or automate the piece in other ways, which makes the track feel pretty directionless. The structuring that is in the piece doesn't really serve to help develop or resolve any of the themes of the piece, and instead usually drags on for too long (e.x., :57-2:24, 2:48-3:31). I've been tough on you in this review, but I think the main thing you need to focus on going forward is structuring your piece around a memorable melody and balanced harmonic structure. Right now, you have a harmonic structure with a lot of different instruments playing a similar role (percussive, industrial-sounding rhythmic stuff), whereas in most tonal tracks it's usually a good idea to have a variety of instruments that perform different functions: a melody to establish the emotional elements and create a direction for the harmonies, chords/pads to create the underlying framework for the harmonies, drums/bass for percussive and rhythmic stuff, etc. Hope that helps. Keep at it, man!