Is that a glockenspiel?

Most of my compositional comments could be summed up with Troisnyx's review. I'm going to reserve most of this space to technical comments, and since you're working with synth guitars I may as well drop some tips related to metal making.

1.) You'll want one rhythm guitar panned 100% right, another one panned 100% left, playing the same rhythm backing; to avoid phasing, one or both tracks are humanized in both attack/release milliseconds and velocity. Otherwise you end up with one centered guitar, like we see here, and that doesn't really convey the shreddage inside our brains, begging to get out into the real world.

Normally, guitarists just play through the song/licks twice and pan the recordings separately, but since we're working with synths, we don't have that luxury. There are some free electric guitar libraries out there like Junk Guitar, Ample Sounds AGML (acoustic), etc. You definitely want these. They will beat FL Slayer into the dirt. You will want to also find Emissary Amp and NadIR Cab. They are both free. Impulses for NadIR cab can also be found free. I was recommended these by Chernobyl studios on YT and have never looked back.

2.) Your drums should be the loudest part of your mix, and they need to stand out. Good writing like you've laid down here is not enough to accomplish that. It's all about what you're working with and how you treat it.

There are tons of free drum kits out there, not to mention samples; you could even forgo true drum kits all together and make like Blue Stahli with electronic drums, as I see you doing here to some degree.

Make sure to pan your drums. 0% panned drums sound boring. If you need inspiration, imagine yourself at a drum kit and think about where the actual pieces of kit would be in relation to your body. This is how I pan my drums. Also, don't be afraid to apply FX like gated reverb to your snares, or panned delay/chorus to your cymbals.

I recommend processing most of your drums on separate send channels btw or this can get really muddy.

And don't forget, our brains are not focusing on the drums when we're listening to songs. To get that big punchy sound, they need to be LOUD. Or to put it better, everything else needs to be quieter. We only have so much mix space to work with. In that regard, you can make really crappy drums sound powerful, if you treat them right. I definitely recommend a kit swap though. FL drums aren't known for playing nice with velocity.

I'm pretty sure I came across a free metal kit called Perfect Drums that had a good kick/snare set-up. You could probably cop (also free) Cymbalistic, which I used to use back in the day, especially for hi-hat grooves. Then there are lots of free samples lying around. I've been experimenting with (free) Saudade Kit for a while just loading up all the samples into Acoustica Mixcraft's Omni Sampler. It's not optimal, but it's a fun experiment.

My go to drum kit is non-free. The Metal Factory Drums, mostly for toms and cymbals, which, as I mentioned, are not very hard to come by. There are pleeeenty of kits to choose from, and I definitely recommend you checking out Chernobyl Studios since you do synth metal.

3. Modulation is important. I don't really think there's a huge deal here with this tune since it sounds super videogamey, largely because of the synth instruments. If you really want to make your leads sing though, definitely work some vibrato in there. Whether that means heavy whammy-esque pitch modulation or what. I really felt like that was what your leads were missing here.

But before I wax too lyrical, let me just stop and say I did enjoy the tune. There's just only so far FL slayer and other stock instruments can carry you. Beyond new electronic doodads to play with, I think you could definitely benefit from some basic study of mixing, mastering, and music theory. You've shown a strong sense of rhythm and an adventurous approach to composing here. Study your craft, and I have no doubt you'll come back even stronger.

Thanks for coming out to NGRMC! Can't wait to see what you come up with next!

To begin, I'm glad you found the feedback helpful. It's a lot easier on the ears now, every credit to you ^_^

It does feel a tad experimental, like the person below me said. The (kalimba? marimba? synth?) at the top that's playing the remixed melody gives it a feel that makes me think of Crash Bandicoot, at least the early Crash Bandicoot games. No seriously, it really does :D

It still feels a bit spartan, bare. It feels more punk, because a lot of punk hated what most general rock songs did and the musicality was not as important as the anger, emptiness, rebellion conveyed through it. But even for punk, it lacks a certain... oomph. There's a thing about a lot of rock songs where the guitar, bass, drums, kinda make your chest thump with the sheer sound of it. It's not to do with loudness -- it's to do with mixing, preamps, and a whole host of things about the sounds of the instruments that needs to be understood. Don't fret about not knowing it yet -- these things do take time, and I myself am still trying to grapple my way around it.

But I think, these things will come over time. You certainly have done a lot better than the last time -- onward and upward from here!

A suggestion for next time: see if you can't make that guitar chug. Like, chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a, mimicking the sound of someone strumming it. That could come in useful.