I have a whole album of these dumb songs. It's called Classic Hymns for Funerals and it's available on streaming services everywhere. You can even put these songs on your darn tootin' TikToks and what-not. Listen to it if you want to, or tell your enemies to listen to it, if you want to shock them before you launch your deadly attack. If you Spotify, click the link below and discover what my real name is in real life.

https://open.spotify.com/album/5Ii78WpM7Zaiug2LRBiODt?si=S9JnQdryS8O1nmavpz82Ow

A track I cut for an upcoming compilation album of 30-second long songs recorded during the Covid-19 lockdown.

Spiders

Shut me in a lift and I'll be fine

Claustrophobia is not an enemy of mine

Turn off all the lights and I won't care

It takes more than darkness to, in me, induce a scare

There's only one thing that I'm afraid of

Spiders (and heights)

I don't mind clowns or louder sounds or getting into fights

There's only one thing that I'm afraid of

Spiders (and heights)

Spiders and heights and ghosts