At 10/19/13 01:07 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a faster PC.

Granted, your PC starts running away and you aren't fast enough to catch it.

I wish to be better at playing drums.

At 10/19/13 01:26 PM, Scarface wrote: I wish to be better at playing drums.

Granted, but it's never quite good enough to apply career-wise or make you any money or fame regardless.

At 10/19/13 01:54 PM, Tribal wrote: Granted, but it's never quite good enough to apply career-wise or make you any money or fame regardless.

No wish???

At 10/19/13 02:32 PM, Vinnyy wrote: He wishes for you to die a slow and painful death which comes true without any corruption.

I wish people wouldn't forget to make wishes.

Granted but instead of forgetting their wishes, they forget their dishes with their fishes instead.

I wish I had better luck.

At 10/19/13 02:50 PM, VJF wrote: Granted but instead of forgetting their wishes, they forget their dishes with their fishes instead.

I wish I had better luck.

You have better luck. Now you always find the best brutal gay porn on Internet.
I wish for cat.

At 10/19/13 03:23 PM, Keeolizer wrote: I wish for cat.

Granted, you get a lion. It eats you.

I wish for riches.

At 10/19/13 08:48 AM, Vinnyy wrote:
Granted, but it's poisonous.

I wish for something to eat.

Granted, but your world loses meaning.

I wish for a beer.

At 10/19/13 04:16 PM, Cyberdevil wrote: I wish for riches.

Granted, it's all locked away in a safe to which you have lost the combination.

At 10/19/13 04:54 PM, ChickenTenders wrote: I wish for a beer.

Granted, you get the cheap piss they call beer in - well, basically anywhere except Bavaria.

I wish for mead.

At 10/20/13 05:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for mead.

Granted, you get the suburb Mead in Northern Spokane, Washington.

At 10/20/13 06:49 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/20/13 05:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for mead.

Granted, you get the suburb Mead in Northern Spokane, Washington.

Oh, and I could walk at light speed.

At 10/20/13 06:49 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: Granted, you get the suburb Mead in Northern Spokane, Washington.

You forgot to make a wish.
I wish a seven feet tall Egyptian statue would stop mocking me.

At 10/20/13 06:54 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: Oh, and I could walk at light speed.

Well this is awkward...

At 10/20/13 06:57 AM, TowelMarket wrote: Well this is awkward...

Yeaaah, there was supposed to be a 'wish I' in there... but moving past these erroneous awkwardnesses...

I wish a seven feet tall Egyptian statue would stop mocking me.

Granted, you transform into an Egyptian statue unlike any other, towering over the world as a great monument of power and brick! You are now able to mock other Egyptian statues with ease; they can do nothing else but look up to you.

I wish the world was triangular.

At 10/20/13 08:55 AM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I had more energy.

Granted, you have a bag of Energy Mints for a lifetime.
I wish for a flying carpet with a cool fractal art pattern.

At 10/20/13 09:02 AM, TowelMarket wrote:

At 10/20/13 08:55 AM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I had more energy.

Granted, you have a bag of Energy Mints for a lifetime.
I wish for a flying carpet with a cool fractal art pattern.

Granted, but it doesn't fly where you want it to.

I wish I could teleport.

At 10/20/13 09:49 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 10/20/13 09:32 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/20/13 09:02 AM, TowelMarket wrote:

At 10/20/13 08:55 AM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I had more energy.

Granted, you have a bag of Energy Mints for a lifetime.
I wish for a flying carpet with a cool fractal art pattern.

Granted, but it doesn't fly where you want it to.

I wish I could teleport.

Granted, but you accidentally teleport right into a nuclear test site just as a nuke is about to go off.

I wish I could time travel.

Granted, you travel back to the time of the inquisitions and are burned for no reason.

I wish to destroy something.

At 10/20/13 10:23 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted, you travel back to the time of the inquisitions and are burned for no reason.

I wish to destroy something.

Granted, you destroy your wish.

I wish for a grant.

At 10/20/13 10:26 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: Granted, you destroy your wish.

I wish for a grant.

Granted. A large hairy man named Grant appears before you.

I wish for the power to stop, slow down or speed up time to whatever speed I desire at any time, while I remain in normal time, and can interact with object slowed down in time (so I can still inhale oxygen particles)

At 10/20/13 11:26 AM, HeadbangingLegend wrote:

At 10/20/13 10:26 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: Granted, you destroy your wish.

I wish for a grant.

Granted. A large hairy man named Grant appears before you.

I wish for the power to stop, slow down or speed up time to whatever speed I desire at any time, while I remain in normal time, and can interact with object slowed down in time (so I can still inhale oxygen particles)

Granted, but when you stop time, you only have a limited amount of oxygen (as none is being produced). And when you speed it up, you get dizzy.

I wish I'd never get dizzy.

At 10/20/13 12:50 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, but when you stop time, you only have a limited amount of oxygen (as none is being produced). And when you speed it up, you get dizzy.

I wish I'd never get dizzy.

Granted, but you never get to have an Alcohol ever again.

I wish this recession would end.

At 10/20/13 12:53 PM, BuggyBugBugMe wrote: I wish this recession would end.

Granted, but there will be an even greater recession a year after.

I wish not to be a slave to money any longer.

At 10/20/13 01:36 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish not to be a slave to money any longer.

Granted, but now you are a slave to the white man.

I wish for the ability to cry lava.

At 10/20/13 01:43 PM, zXzFIRELORDzXz wrote:

At 10/20/13 01:36 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish not to be a slave to money any longer.

Granted, but now you are a slave to the white man.

I wish for the ability to cry lava.

Granted, but you still burn yourself.

I wish I was fire-proof.

At 10/20/13 01:54 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was fire-proof.

Granted, you've been sent to hell.
I wish for an infinite amount of wishes at my disposal.

At 10/20/13 02:00 PM, TowelMarket wrote: I wish for an infinite amount of wishes at my disposal.

Granted, but nobody fulfills your wishes.

I wish I could resurrect and command the dead.

At 3/24/13 03:03 PM, Manly-Chicken wrote:

At 3/24/13 02:42 PM, Mismo wrote:

At 3/24/13 02:16 PM, Grotty wrote: I wish there was something worth watching on television.

Granted but you are now so enthralled by what is being broadcasted that you can not simply tear yourself away from the TV thus you die from hunger and dehydration.

I wish that I had one of my favorite pizzas in the fridge right now.

It's not in your fridge but someone else's.
I wish that you had your favorite pizza in your fridge.

Granted, his favorite pizza is human pizza, you support cannabilism.
I wish that people stopped supporting cannabilism

At 10/20/13 02:25 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 10/20/13 02:16 PM, zXzFIRELORDzXz wrote:

At 10/20/13 02:00 PM, TowelMarket wrote: I wish for an infinite amount of wishes at my disposal.

Granted, but nobody fulfills your wishes.

I wish I could resurrect and command the dead.

Granted, but everytime you resurrect a deceased person you lose a little bit of your own life force, bringing you closer to death.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

Granted and you enjoy it, leaving nothing in life left to surprise you and you have to work as a tsa agent at the airport with no extra pay and a girlfriend that cheats on you with your uncle and a kid that doesn't respect your line of work and a dog that would rather play with your cheating whore girlfriend than you even though you were the one that bought the damn dog in the first place and now you just wish you didn't have x-ray vision at all and just bought a blu-ray player or something than one day you come home late from work and your girlfriend is getting fucked by your dog and you see it because of your x-ray vision. You end of cutting your eyes out of your head.

I wish I some salt & vinegar chips.

At 10/20/13 02:52 PM, ChickenTenders wrote: I wish I some salt & vinegar chips.

Granted, you get a set of second-hand sweaty poker chips drenched in vinegar.

I wish the moon was made of cheese.

At 10/20/13 02:55 PM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/20/13 02:52 PM, ChickenTenders wrote: I wish I some salt & vinegar chips.

Granted, you get a set of second-hand sweaty poker chips drenched in vinegar.

I wish the moon was made of cheese.

Granted, it's made of milk cheese, you can't eat it mr. vegan.
I wish I could explode and reassemble at will

At 10/20/13 03:00 PM, ChickenTenders wrote: Granted, it's made of milk cheese, you can't eat it mr. vegan.

Hey, you didn't corrupt my wish! :D I'm not vegan.

At 10/20/13 03:41 PM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I could visit an alternate universe.

Granted, you travel to a universe made of negative energy and therefore seize to exist.

I wish all water was warm.