No reviews?! Wtf?

Princess here hoping you're in the mood for some holiday hijinks for the whole dang family with Horsebitch because good golly, it's December already, and the first of the month, which can only mean I am gracing you with my divine presence because its time for a new installment of Newgrounds's favorite spin-off series, The Horsebitch Hijinks!

Jessica Anne Churney-Strickland is the Horsebitch, a deadly mercenary formerly employed by the sinister Tennipples Industries. She was once the leader of the dreaded Horsebitch Cavalry, the aptly named Mr. Dr. Prof. Steeley Tennipples's elite band of equestrian femmes fatales!

For years, Horsebitch followed Cyberen Broyoshi - the bumbling antihero of the popular, "edutaining" animated series, The Cyberen Sillies - waiting for a moment to strike and kidnap poor Cyberen so that his body could be harvested into a doomsday device for the maniacal Prof. Tennipples.

Along the way, however, something unexpected happened: Horsebitch fell in love with Cyberen! She was then forced to play the role of a voluptuous double-agent, constantly staying one gallop ahead of both Cyberen and her insidiously evil employer, with the help of Susie, her wise-cracking horse!

After Cyberen's final showdown with Tennipples, the twisted old man was killed, raising the question: What has become of Horsebitch and her cavalry? What wacky situations will they get into adapting to normal, everyday life?

This is their story...

Episode 9: A One-Horsebitch Open Sleigh!

Well, folks, it gets mighty hot down here at Castle Roker in sunny Snoopyville, Florida, so this is my favorite time of year... Unfortunately, I can't say the same for Horsebitch!

With the economy how it is today, there's just not a lot of people willing to hire a mercenary group of obese teenage girls who ride horses. Really there never was. Quickly running out of money (it takes a lot of money to feed a horse, and even more to feed a Horsebitch!), what can Horsebitch do to make some cash this holiday season? She decideds it's time to find out!

After a very funny montage of Horsebitch trying (and failing) at various holiday inspired prospective career choices with slight criminal twists (the Salvation Army bell-ringer bit is a guaranteed LOL (Laugh Out Loud) moment), Horsebitch gets inspired by a festive billboard in a particularly seedy red light district in the Maritimes and phones her girls to meet up at Boulderwood Stables to be debriefed on Horsebitch's ingenious plan!

When they get there, they're surprised to find that their beloved Boulderwood Stables has been cheaply transformed into a rather unconvincing winter Wonderland! Horsebitch, now dressed in Santa Clause attire, tells them her idea to go straight and start a legitimate sleigh ride company with their horses! Oh what fun!

Things seem to be going well at first, but let's face it, boys and girls, the once proud and mighty Horsebitch Cavalry is just not cut out for towing around snot-nosed kids and their nauseating whitebread parents who think crap like family sleigh rides is cute. Before long, the girls begin to slip back into their old ways. Will Horsebitch be able to regain control of her cavalry and save her business or will she too give into her uncouth, animal-like instincts? WATCH AND FIND OUT!

I love you all! Have a Horsebitchin' holiday season, and be on the lookout for the highly-awaited return of daily Cyberen Sillies!

Love,

Princess Laucherella