Hey dude,
There's some nice stuff going on here, but there's also a lot you can improve on:
* The camera is moving around way too much. For one, it's hard to focus on any one item because we're constantly moving. Secondly, I know the tendency when you first start using 3D is to make the camera do big, swooping, smooth movements. It's fun to do, but unfortunately it quickly makes the audience uncomfortable when you don't use believable camera physics.
* You need to find the focal point of this piece. Is it the creature? or the setting. Watching this the first time, I had no idea that the little guy on the rock was the creature. At the beginning we belt past him and look at the rock-face, so I naturally assumed that was the creature. When we finally come back and see the creature, the camera moves around so much that I never really get to study what he looks like and how he's formed. If you freeze-frame any part of this, you'll see there's a LOT of negative space around the characters which detracts from what you're trying to showcase - am I looking at the set? the creature? make it clear!
My advice would be to research other modelling reels. There are thousands of brilliant ones online. One thing you'll notice is the cameras are usually very simple, the framing is clean and the focal point is clear. Often, they won't even use a camera move, it will just be a static shot with a turning model.
Overall I like what you're going for and if this is your first time using 3D, well done!