So get this reight, Ahhm just pissin' up't wall like mindin' my ooan business when all of a sudden these alien pricks go an' fuckin' abduct me! Never known owt like it!

Ah lose control of mi' stream an' end up gerrin' piss allorr't equipment an' everyweer and then't cheeky cunts start tryin'a sehh its mahh fault and tharrahhv gorr'er pay foh'rrit. Telled 'em to get fucked but then thi' wainn't leave it will thi'? Nah thi' comin' raahnd every neet an' tryina rob mi' cows to get thi' own back!

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How to Play

When UFOs arrive, type out the word written above them to shoot at them. If you make a mistake you will need to start over.

Press SPACE to stop focusing on a UFO.

Aliens will attempt to steal your cows. Do not let them.

Lose 5 cows and its game over.

The Barker Brothers are your sworn enemy. They are forever slinking around your fields trying to shag the cows. If they get themselves all wrapped up in this you'd be doing us all a favour to just let the aliens take them.

If the Aliens take a Barker Brother you get a 10,000 point bonus.