Unorganized, with abtract concepts, yet interestin
You have a few interesting ideas, but they could have been more clearly expressed. It's clear that you're an educated individual from the references to relatively obscure Greek philosophers, however, this background information seems a little unnecessary in retrospect. You seem to be a little paradoxical yourself, spitting on the idea of friendship while glorifing work towards the greater good.
Take heed from Napoleon. He laid out intricate plans, but believed that once a battle began, it was too large for any man to control. His philosophy: First we get there, then we see what happens.