:) nice, I loved it. I am sure one day you will find your story :)
Reviews for "A Glimpse of Life, 1"
enh264 responds:
Thanks!
great beginning to your potential
as for improvements, character detail needs work, need more improvement with faces
The script and the visuals don't match at all.
There's lots of subways in Toronto, so animating flourecent lights outside the window in a dark tunnel wouldn't have been hard at all. When it comes to storytelling in movies, showing is more important than telling, and all this does is tell. I don't see any examples of what the scipt is saying, I only hear them. Maybe instead of the script saying, "everyone here has a story...What will my story be" you could have an advertisement on the subway wall showing various figures of success, with a caption at the bottom saying "What will YOUR story be." This would let us have insight into the main character as we see his reaction to the advertizment. He could show feelings of being disgruntled or inspired, a conformist or a rebel, or just plain apethetic about it all. He could also perhaps look around at the people around him, looking at their quality of clothing and the objects they're holding, such as a wedding ring or baby food. This would let us see their aspirations/daily lives. If you don't have a voice over script, and instead give the watcher the clues to what's going on in the story, they'll feel much more engaged, and willing to put their mind into what they're watching as a result.
Also, you might want to put a Preloader in your movie so it doesn't loop :p (Remove the spaces from the URL)
http://www.newgrounds.com/downloads/p reloaders/
enh264 responds:
Hey, thanks for your comments I really apreciate it. It is still a work in progress, and I am still working on adding all the details now as I wanted to have all the scenes done first. And I agree with you that the quality of the visual and sound matters as much as the story itself. I'll edit some advertisements in there as well which would engage viewers emotions. And last, I still need to ad the sound effects and some camera shake to the scene inside the train and go through some color correction.
The scenes took me a while to create, I was wondering if you could give me an idea or example of a different script or some change to what I have now, while keeping the same movie?
Gorgeous visuals, very stylish, but why does the audio quality differ from sentence to sentence?
Like the drawing style, not sure how it would cope with movement though. And as you probably know the audio is all kinds of messed up. Never the less look forward to more from you.