BLARRGH! STARMADA IS HERE TO SHOW ALL YOU PUSSIES HOW TO MAKE A GAME! GRRAGH! FLY THROUGH SPACE WHILE FLYING THOUSANDS OF ENEMIES, DESTROYING THEM WITH YOUR FUCKIN' LASER BLAST! YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE, EXCEPT WHEN YOU AREN'T! BLOOD AND THUNDER! VICTORY AT SEA! (SPACE?) HOMING MISSILES? FORCE FIELDS? MEDIC KITS? ARRRRRGH! COME AT ME BRO! CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES! SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU! THERE ARE NO WOMEN IN THIS GAME BUT IF THERE WERE, YOU CAN'T BET YOUR ASS YOU'D HEARING THEIR LAMENTATIONS! THE BOSSES ARE ALL MADE OF SKULLS AND BONES! THEY SHOOT FIRE OUT OF THEIR EYES! THIS GAME IS COMPLETELY FUCKING BONKERS! CRANK OUT! RRRRRRRAAAARRRGH!