Alright guys, if you think your protected from viruses and / or already have one and think you have the programs to get rid of it, you may be horribly wrong wrong wrong. I have seen a lot of people complaining about viruses, worms, malware, hijackers, and all the sorts. I figured I might as well create an easy to follow tutorial about how to almost always get rid of these viruses. I made my own computer design / maintenance business in the beginning of the Summer and have so far dealt with over 1500 viruses, killing them all. One of my clients had a trojan worm that brought in other viruses via internet which gave him 500+ viruses, but I get rid of them. With the following method(s), you can as well. Viruses are normally handled with simple programs, but people usually use the wrong methods and techniques. Sometimes they even use the wrong programs. *Im talking to you Norton, go burn in a fire*

So, if you have a virus or arent sure if you are protected, read below! :)

IF THE FOLLOWING TUTORIAL DOES NOT WORK, LEAVE A POST ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM AND I WILL REPLY WITH ADVICE.

Step 1: Download the following programs: *21MB Total*

SpyBot S&D
MalwareBytes

Step 2: Open these programs and install them by following the instructions that come up on the screen. Install them wherever you know you can find them. *I always put them on my desktop*

Step 3: After both programs are fully installed, restart your computer and repeatedly press the F8 key on your keyboard. In about a minute, you should a screen that looks similar to this. Some options might not be there, depending on what version of windows you have. However, there should always be Safe Mode. Use your arrow keys to navigate to it, and then press enter. Your computer will flash some things across the screen. Basically it is only starting key services that allow the user to navigate using a simple keyboard and mouse interface and run programs without anything fancy going on. In other words, it's a safe mode to be in. If you are asked to log in, log in to your normal account. You might be prompted with a window. Just press YES. After safe mode begins, you will notice that the background is black and your screen resolution is different. Don't worry all this will change back the next time you restart your computer. We are going to work in this mode to prevent viruses from attacking while we attack them.

Step 4: Unplug your Ethernet cable.

Step 5: Open up Spybot Search and Destroy along with MalwareBytes. Run a full scan with both programs. This will take a bit, so we are going to do a few other things while they are scanning. Your computer might run a bit slower than usual, if it isn't already from possible a possible virus.

Step 6: While both programs are scanning, go into the Spybot Search and Destroy window and click where it says "Immunize" on the left side of the screen. Then click the green plus sign that says "Immunize" and it will begin immunizing your system. This will use methods inside your browsers to prevent future viruses. Usually it will get in at least 100,000 different ways, so I always immunize to prevent future problems.

Step 7: Defragment your computer. This will make sure your computer is nice and fast once everything is done. It simply moves files around. It does not delete any. Navigate to your disc defragmenter and start the program. You should see a window that looks like this. Click Analyze to determine if your computer needs defragmenting. Wait a few minutes and it should bring up a window that says "You should defragment this volume" or "Your computer does not need defragmenting". If it does need defragmenting, then click Defragment.

Step 8: Eat a sandwich, go for a walk, then take a nap. The computer will take 1 - 3 hours to finish everything. DO NOT TURN IT OFF.

Step 9: When everything is finished, there should be a list in each program containing all of the viruses that they found. If you want, take a screenshot and post in this thread just for references. Now you just have to get rid of them! Open up spybot and click "Fix SelectedProblems" located at the top of the screen. A window will pop up asking you if you are sure you want to remove these entries. Click yes. Spybot will fix all of the problems. If it says not all can be removed, a window will pop up asking if it can run during next startup. Just click yes and it will run next time you start your computer, finalizing the job. After this, go to Malwarebytes and it will have a window that says "The scan completed succesfully... click show results..." Obviously, you click show results here lol. Then click remove selected. Wait for it to finish removing them. This will only take a minute.

Step 10: Restart your computer after your sure everything is done. Spybot might run at startup if it said it would. If so, just wait for it to finish and go through the fix all problems method again. THEN ALL YOUR VIRUSES SHOULD BE GONE! :D

NOTE: SPYBOT MIGHT MAKE THESE WEIRD WINDOWS POP UP FROM TIME TO TIME. These windows are being run from a spybot program called "TeaTimer". Basically, they make sure the user knows when a very important registry key is changed on the computer. All you need to do is either click Allow or Deny Change. Simply use common sense. If you just installed a program and it wants you to allow or deny a change, click allow because you know you just installed something. If your browsing on the internet and it randomly comes up, your going to want to click DENY change because it might be a virus trying to attack your computer. Its fairly simple once you get use to it. If you have any questions regarding this window, let me know and post an image here.

Now then, onto the "other " virus programs you have. You should uninstall Norton Antivirus, AVG, or Microsoft Security Essentials you need to uninstall them because they have problems with slowing down your computer. Navigate to your control panel -> add or remove programs -> then select them if you have them and uninstall them. Sorry if you had to pay for them... if you dont want to uninstall them, that is fine... but they may be the problem to your slow computer.

THATS IT! Let me know if anyone runs into any problems.

Questions? Comments? Did This Work? :D

pic related >:C

go to the doctor and get a shot in the ass.

I use avast, I haven't ran into virus problem.

how would you rate avast?

Why is that cat sitting on what appears to be Cthulhu? Doesn't seem like a very wise move to me.

At 9/23/10 05:39 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote: Cool tut, bro.

Now this website will be blocked by future scareware hoaxes

No. Lol.

At 9/23/10 05:37 PM, Gagsy wrote: Why is that cat sitting on what appears to be Cthulhu? Doesn't seem like a very wise move to me.

Its the frog he is sitting on you silly nilly. That cat doesnt know shit.

At 9/23/10 05:31 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote: I use avast, I haven't ran into virus problem.

how would you rate avast?

Avast is a good program to use if you want to pay for one. Personally I believe that the two free programs above can do just the same, and more so if you use them correctly. Remember to scan often. :)

At 9/23/10 05:59 PM, FatKidWitAJetPak wrote:

Its the frog he is sitting on you silly nilly. That cat doesnt know shit.

I don't know, looks like a badly disgused frog to me.

Back to the topic. A few months back I had to aid my brother when he got some annoying virus. Took me ages to get spybot on there from safe mode (after I realised what I had to do) then got it running and everything. Was a royal pain in the ass. He has a new laptop now anyway and I imagine it won't be long before he gets into the same trouble. I'll have to remember to find this thread if so.

Or, you know, you could just not click on suspicious links or watch porn.

PROTIP: The best way to fight a virus is to not get it in the first place. Be careful with your computer and make sure to have anti-virus and anti-spyware active at all times. This goes for all operating systems.

At 9/23/10 06:12 PM, Stevenscar wrote: PROTIP: The best way to fight a virus is to not get it in the first place. Be careful with your computer and make sure to have anti-virus and anti-spyware active at all times. This goes for all operating systems.

But what everyone fails to realize is that YOU CAN GET VIRUSES ANYWHERE ONLINE. Even if your on cartoonetwork.com playing some awesome Courage the Cowardly Dog game, a virus could wonder through the internet and right into your computer.

There are several types of viruses. One of them is a type that is downloaded maliciously through links, websites, emails. This type requires human interaction, clicking a link, watching kiddy porn, e.t.c.

Another is a type that wonders around, called a WORM. These travel from computer to computer and can be gotten if you are simply hooked up to the internet. This is why virus protection is needed, even if you dont use the internet. The client that I mentioned earlier who got 500+ viruses never used the internet, but he was connected without virus protection and thats what got him.

At 9/23/10 06:05 PM, kiljoy96 wrote: Or, you know, you could just not click on suspicious links or watch porn.

No one can never live without porn :O

At 9/23/10 06:30 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote:

At 9/23/10 06:29 PM, Sequenced wrote:

At 9/23/10 06:05 PM, kiljoy96 wrote: Or, you know, you could just not click on suspicious links or watch porn.

No one can never live without porn :O

Except people before the 1930s but they were boring

Vintage is awesome :3

I have malwarebytes already, amazing. AVG missed a whole bunch of stuff, deleting my virus vault soon, and then I'll try these if I see any warnings, ever.

Is that cat teabagging a cthulhu doll?

At 9/23/10 05:31 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote: I use avast, I haven't ran into virus problem.

Because Avast does not detect viruses.

I use the payed version of AVG. GOOD LUCK HAX0RS

At 9/23/10 05:31 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote: I use avast, I haven't ran into virus problem.

I agree I use avast and also never encounter any virus '
plus it's boot-up scan is very handy incase something has managed to get in.

At 9/23/10 06:01 PM, FatKidWitAJetPak wrote:
Avast is a good program to use if you want to pay for one. Personally I believe that the two free programs above can do just the same, and more so if you use them correctly. Remember to scan often. :)

Well I was actually able to get it for free, trough my brother, and I heard it was good, that's why I have it.

At 9/25/10 04:10 PM, deckheadtottie wrote: I have an even better solution

Back-up
Format
Reinstall

That takes a lot more time and effort, although it is a simple solution. Plus, backuping your hardrive when your computer has a virus can send the virus into your backup. There are methods out there you can use to actually GET BACK YOUR DELETED FILES, but these methods are sometimes complicated to the general public.

So if I were you, the easiest thing to do would be

Safe Mode
Scan
Restart Computer

Which is gone through intensively in this tutorial ;)

So Pretend I'm a pedoPhile, Ok go.

I enjoy Downloading Child Pornography, but It comes with millions of viruses per video, Thank fully since I was stalking the website http://www.newgrounds.com/ because That is where all the 13 year olds hang out, I was able to find a tutorial on how to remove such viruses, Now I will be able to download Thousands upon Thousands of Illegal Child Pornographic Images and soon Porn will not be enough and I will commit molestation and or rape of a minor.

Ok stop pretending

DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!!!!!!!1111

At 9/25/10 04:55 PM, Whysomangry wrote: So Pretend I'm a pedoPhile, Ok go.

Oh my god I never thought that i could use this for that, thanks.

At 9/26/10 12:00 PM, Corncob22 wrote:

At 9/25/10 04:55 PM, Whysomangry wrote: So Pretend I'm a pedoPhile, Ok go.

Oh my god I never thought that i could use this for that, thanks.

I knew my tutorial would be turned into some strange homoerotic pedophiliac fanfiction.

1. Download Ubuntu
2. Burn Ubuntu to disk
3. Install Ubuntu
4. ???
5. Profit

Alternative:
1. Buy Mac
2. Press the "on" button
3. ???
4. profit

This is totally getting off-topic. Anyways, you know anything about the BSOD error BAD_POOL_CALLER? I've been getting it for a while now.

At 9/23/10 05:23 PM, FatKidWitAJetPak wrote: Alright guys,

I actually trust Fatkid. He knows what his doing, why? Because of his bowl cut! EPIC POWERS AND SHIT!

But really, he knows what his doing.

My laptop runs fine but I'll give them a go anyway. Cheers.

The only 100% Foolproof method of virus prevention is Sandboxing.

At 10/12/10 07:56 PM, ghthhgfhg wrote: This is totally getting off-topic. Anyways, you know anything about the BSOD error BAD_POOL_CALLER? I've been getting it for a while now.

That can relate to a vary of things such as USB ports, networks, a bad RAM card, or a lot of other things heh. There are many things you can do, but it will require some research.

I will need some more information from you, would be kind to give me any info that you can such as your computer model name? Or, you can do a bit of self-help and read about things that it could be here. Read through that forum and you can try bits and pieces that you think you should try. I would recommend starting on page two. The guy there basically had a CPU that was getting to hot based on the symptoms of his computer freezing up on playing games, youtube videos, or any sort of content that requires some power from your computer. *Games, movies, e.t.c*

Please continue posting, I hope we can discuss this further. Tell me the error message you get and how it effects your computer specifically so taht we can determine what the specefic BAD POOL problem really is. :)

After scanning with Microsoft security essentials, i only managed to find 3 viruses, which I cleared. I'm doing your method at the moment, fatkid, as my performance still seems a bit fishy.

At 10/19/10 10:31 AM, Sequenced wrote: After scanning with Microsoft security essentials, i only managed to find 3 viruses, which I cleared. I'm doing your method at the moment, fatkid, as my performance still seems a bit fishy.

Howd it work out Sequenced?