Why GW seems to have gone totally silent on Med V is highly irritating. It might just be that my character was probably one of the three most important Imperial Characters in the UK campaign that makes me annoyed, but it still does seem like a bit of a anti-climax. Even the final reports were a bit lacking.
Here's probably the mosta nnoying Warhammer40K joke ever.
There once was this Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Bike, and being the hero-type person that he was, he wanted to marry the commander's daughter. So he went up to the palace, and the guard naturally inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied: "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III".
On the Black and White Space Marine's way out, the guard once again asked, "Who goes there"?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast. On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".
On his way out the guard once again asked, "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later. On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace."
On the Black and White Space Marine's way out the guard once again asked, "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. May I marry your daughter now?"
"OK."
just found this a while ago
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I think I'll go and ask if my lady will join me in ritual suicide now. If that was a joke then either my humour glands have expired or that wasn't funny at all.
Much to my surprise the third Horus Heresy novel features an Imperial timeline, counting the millennia and their designations.
M 1-15: Age of Terra.
Humanity dominates Earth. Civilisations come and go. The Solar system is colonised. Mankind lives on Mars and the moons of Jupiter, Saturn and Neptune.
M 15-18: Age of Technology.
Mankind begins to colonise the stars using sub-light spacecraft. At first only nearby systems can be reached and the colonies established on them must survive as independant states since they are seperated from Earth by up to ten generations of travel.
M 18-22: Age of Technology.
Invention of the warp-drive accelerates the colonisation of the galaxy. Federations and Empires are founded. First aliens encountered and first Alien Wars are fought. First human psykers begin to appear throughout human worlds.
M 22-25: Age of Technology.
First Navigators are born allowing human spaceships to make even longer, quicker warp-jumps. Mankind enters a golden age of enlightenment as scientific and idealogical progress accelerates. Human worlds unite and non-aggression pacts are secured with dozens of alien races.
M 25-26: Age of Strife.
Terrible warp-storm interrupt interstellar travel. Sporadic at first, the storms eventually prevent any warp jumps being made. The incidence of human mutation increases rapidly. Mankind enters a dark period of anarchy and despair.
M 26-30: Age of Strife.
Human worlds ripped apart by civil wars, revolt, alien predation and invasion. Human psykers and other mutants dominate some worlds and these rapidly fall prey to warp-creatures. Humanity is on the brink of destruction.
M 30-present: Age of the Imperium.
Earth is conquered by the Emperor and enters an alliance with the Mechanicum of Mars. Finally the warp-storms abate and interstellar travel is possible again. The Emperor builds the Astrinomican and creates the Space Marine Legions. Human worlds reunited in a Great Crusade that lasts for two hundred years.
God that's a useful timeline.
Behold, the Techno-Barbarians of old!
After reading the books, I can say that on the one hand, it is a space opera on gigantic levels with all the drama and suspense we've come to love, but on the other hand, it has made me hate the Imperium for what it really is. Full of good intent or not, they enact and enforce their brutal regime upon free worlds.
Well, Horus Rising is still my favourite book, but the events in Galaxy in Flames have shown that it wasn't just Isstvaan V, but the entire system played a role in that bloody segment of history. But it's still too early to say which one is my favourite, as we still got five more books to go if the rumours are true.
On the related note, if any of you come across the graphic novel "the Call of Chaos", give it a try. It's full of those lovely UK styled comics with the rough art and over-the-top mannerism. An obsolute favourite has to be the Dwarf Lords saga.
I'm sorry to say that i'm on official Officio of Propaganda and Public Enlightenment business in my following message:
'Guardsmen of Newgrounds, a grave threat has emerged on the planet Fornost IX. The once great Agri-world is now under attack by filthy heretics that escaped our wrath on Medusa V. Some of you may know them as the 'Speartip' battle group.
The prestigious 12th Army Group, heroes of Edethor and destroyers of the Hive Sybilla Tertius, descended on Fornost to resupply. Once word of a Chaos Invasion and a heroic Saint reached them, Inquisitor General Diem (Who has recently siezed control of the group) ordered an immediate operation.
And so, the mighty armies of the 12th and Speartip clash once more. This time there will be no mercy.'
Right, now that's out of the way, i'll get on with it. Fornost IX is a player run campaign for any chaos or imperial gamers willing to sign up and contribute. It's currently in its 4th week, but there's still plenty of time to tip the balance for your chosen faction. I'll be brutally honest, although i've only just arrived the Imperial forces are being severely overrun. The 12th is in desperate need of new commanders to help turn the tide against the Chaos menace. Check out the official Fornost network to learn more:
http://z10.invisionf..IX/index.php?act=idx
Any one wishing to join up may also like to visit the 12th Army HQ, featuring not only tactical and conceptual debate but also freeform RPing and general Imperial banter:
http://z13.invisionf..com/12th_Army_Group/
We could certainly use some experienced commanders!
At 10/31/06 10:09 AM, Lieutenant-Brookman wrote: I think I'll go and ask if my lady will join me in ritual suicide now. If that was a joke then either my humour glands have expired or that wasn't funny at all.
Don't worry they arent expired. This "joke" was mostly just to annoy people by making them read large parts of reppetitive crap finishing with a unworthwile ending
And it bumped the thread didnt it?
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At 10/31/06 10:45 PM, Dejanus wrote: Man, I am fucking depressed. My dog ate half my Ultramarines, I just bought a set of Scouts for that army, too.
Poor Capt. Uriel, he overcomes daemons only to be devoured by "Fluffy".
well at least you can now start an army which everyone doesnt have.
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Now recruiting for the Imperial Guard. Im making a flash on the role of commissars in the imperial guard, and need a couple of people to play infantrymen for a scene featuring the after-battle party. I thought Id offer the parts on here first, before going to the voice actors crew. PM me if youre interested.
I finally got ImpG miniatures!!!!!!!!!
I joined a while back but I forgot about it.
Although i'm wondering, how do I paint eyes onto a figure less that an inch tall ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????
That goes to you other Imperial Guard players.
Paint the whites of the eyes first. It doesnt matter how sloppy you get because youve still got the flesh colours to go on. Then use a pin dipped in black paint to do the pupils
At 11/6/06 06:38 AM, boltrig wrote: Paint the whites of the eyes first. It doesnt matter how sloppy you get because youve still got the flesh colours to go on. Then use a pin dipped in black paint to do the pupils
Check this out!
Uh-huh, old news really. Please don't quote a message and then reply to it with something that has nothing to do with the quote.
This may be one of my last replies for some time to come, big things are going to happen. Or in a more dramatic sense: Things are afoot and they are quite sensational.
So if I don't get to it then, here's the following in advance: Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and best wishes to all.
Hey the Mark of Chaos demo is out now
Linkety link link link liiiink link link link link
Yeah its not 40K but some people "cough" ramagi "cough" say its the same so there
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At 11/7/06 12:43 AM, Orcinator wrote: Hey the Mark of Chaos demo is out now
Linkety link link link liiiink link link link link
Yeah its not 40K but some people "cough" ramagi "cough" say its the same so there
Fantasy is the worst thing ever created since ebaum's.
At 11/7/06 03:20 AM, Jaketheclonetrooper wrote:At 11/7/06 12:43 AM, Orcinator wrote: Hey the Mark of Chaos demo is out nowFantasy is the worst thing ever created since ebaum's.
Linkety link link link liiiink link link link link
Yeah its not 40K but some people "cough" ramagi "cough" say its the same so there
God, you're dumb.
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At 11/7/06 10:54 PM, Dejanus wrote:
Fantasy is the worst thing ever created since ebaum's.
1. I disagree on every level.
I have my opinion and you have yours, moron.
2. Jump off the god damn bandwagon.
It's not like I worship 40k. Does it mean that i'm immediately on the bandwagon since I prefer 40k over Fantasy?
You jump off the god damn bandwagon
3. Go suck a Slaaneshi Demonette.
Go ass rape a Skaven.
Son of a bitch motherfucker. Vandire's teeth! Sigmar's balls. I think I can take Murphy's Law as an official religion, because it has happened. I turn my back on this place for what? Two days and the shit is being fucked up already. Being juvenile isn't an answer, nor is calling names. Making such cunt-like statements is not going to make you any friends here Jake. If you want to fit in, be normal, don't type like some hyperactive with all the exclamation marks and the "omfg wtf" replies. And for the others, I would've expected something a bit more polite. I hope you all learn from this.
Now then, can I get married safely, or should I just PM Wade in advance and ask him to lock this down, saving you all the effort of flaming the everlasting fuck out of this. This used to be a happy place damnation, where all were welcome.
Ah fuck, while I'm at it, here's a link to my Dev-art, where I post the occasional prose, pict or rant from time to time. Comments are welcome.
k brookman. Add that guy to the list of people I hate here on NG. I just don't understand why some people think that " if it's my opinion, it should be everyone's opinion"
Anyways, about flags, do you have to paint the flag or do you like, put a decal on it?
At 11/8/06 10:19 AM, Dejanus wrote: Ok guys, a few things.(with no profanity)
=-
2. Jake: Sorry for the rudeness. But really, dont say Fantasy sucks. Give me a valid reason as to why. As for the bandwagon, I meant the anti-Ebaum one.
It's ok. I forgive you. I'm also sorry for my rudeness.
Beautiful, just beautiful. Anyway...
The Guard are getting raped on Fornost IX, glad i turned up late enough to be absolved from blame. Once the propaganda machine has done its work, however, all shalt be different, heh heh heh.
Brookman, I'm happy to keep a power-maul powered eye on things whilst you're gone if you want. Hell, I single-handedly kept the entire 12AG together for pretty much the entire Med V campaign, and even managed to heavily alter the storyline in the UK region with them. Granted, there was that incident were we all got declared Heretics by GW, the long running Bassie issue, the constant attacks by Speartip spies (and subsequent torture and execution of these fools), and a crazed, heretical General Clark, who turned against us and began working his way through executing most of High Command...
But, y'know, we blew up a hive! c'mon, that's impressive right? Right???
At 11/9/06 08:34 PM, SeedyKay wrote: Beautiful, just beautiful. Anyway...
Holy crap!! You're Seedykay!!!!!!!!!! I love your games especially warhammer shooter 2. When's 3 coming out?
About the anti-ebaum bandwagon thng, i hate that thief personally. PM me if you wanna know why. long story
Um... W40K crew has been around for how long? And they've only submitted how many W40K flashes? Not saying that W40K sucks (cause it doesn't) it's just that I'm wondering "What are you doing" I thought the point of W40K crew was to get more flashes about Warhammer in the portal, not chat for days on end.
At 11/11/06 01:23 AM, Jaketheclonetrooper wrote:At 11/9/06 08:34 PM, SeedyKay wrote: Beautiful, just beautiful. Anyway...Holy crap!! You're Seedykay!!!!!!!!!! I love your games especially warhammer shooter 2. When's 3 coming out?
Erm, I'm not sure. I have a level in place, and it loks and plays amazingly, but it needs serious work to lower the size before i release it (already about a meg, without sound) Still, nice to have a fan. I've got a couple of other 40k projects lying around, but the Med V conflict has taken up most of the time i would have spent working on flash these past months,
As for Angel-o' -death, The Crew isn't specifically about flash production, it's a hang-out for the 40k community on NG. Few of us can make Flash, and those that do (i.e. me) have things like 'jobs' and 'pubs' and 'paintball' and 'barbecues' and 'moderating' and such. but once aaaaaall those other things are done, we'll get on with making stuff.
I'm tempted to do another tribute, maybe to medV, another montage piece. Anyone interested, drop me a line and we'll combine works to make one glorious Uber-flash. Plus if enough of us do it, it'll only take about a week or two
Can someone tell me what this Warhammer 40,000 crew is?
A glorious gathering of gamers, scribes and lunatics. Founded by Lt. Brookman around 300 years ago (or that's how it feels anyway) The 40k Crew provides a focal point for Warhammer 40,000 player, artists, scholars et al.
We do not follow any kind of ranking system or joining restrictions, but in return request that all members and guests act in a respectable and controlled manner, refrain from abusing or insulting opposing viewpoints, and do their best to make the 40k crew a pleasant place to be.
Our aims aren't exactly spectacular, but we'll do our best to support any effort to increase the 40k presence on Newgrounds, through Flash and any other means.
Does that answer your question? Or just raise more, lol!
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what is everyones view of the latest edition to the Dawn of War saga?
Nec Deficit Alter.
At 11/14/06 09:09 PM, Orcinator wrote: Hey look somebody finanly made a thread for Army Pics
yay art forum
I've actually made one way before him.
Oh yeah...here's the link
